God Gave Me A Pass

I'm not sure if it's because the internet is allowing me to see it more or just that we've become a self-serving group of people but, I am seeing a LOT of people saying that their actions are OK because 'God forgave them'.

I just watched a segment of Kim Davis on Good Morning America saying that her previous marriages and children via adultery do not make her a hypocrite because she is 'forgiven' and 'washed clean' by her god.

Real life doesn't work like that, lady.

You see, she and many others would not accept me just saying that whatever wrong doing I've done has been forgiven by the Flying Spaghetti Monster. His Holy Noodliness holds no real power over them. It does not mean anything to them. No matter how much I insist that He loves you, wants you to follow Him, and He boiled for your sins (Ramen), they will never buy that nonsense.

Yet, they have this absurd notion that their mythical deity holds power over us. They insist that He loves us, wants us to follow Him, and died for our sins. When we regard that for what it is, nonsense, they still insist that their argument holds more weight.

Religious people refuse to see the correlation between the two stories. Somehow FSM is just made up gibberish while a Bronze-Age man, born of a virgin, walking on water, being pissed at a fig tree, and dying on a cross is gospel truth.

Let's be honest. The Jesus story sounds more real because it's the one most of us grew up with. It doesn't have anything to do with how long it's been around. Hinduism has been around for 5,000 years and sounds like the most ridiculous story ever conjured up. It sounds weird because it wasn't the weird we grew up with.

The Jesus story, the Mohammad story, the Krishna story....all of it is made up and holds no authority over those who have never heard of it. By insisting your actions are forgiven by your particular brand of 'holy truth' holds no water for atheists and people of other religions. Stop using it as an excuse.

As an atheist, I must ask for forgiveness from those I've actually wronged. If I do something illegal, I must pay the secular price. I have the law to answer to. That's the way it works in real life. Imagine if we just allow people to atone for their mistakes via their religion. Nothing would be done.

And, by dismissing your hypocrite actions by saying 'god is OK with it', does not make your actions any less hurtful. Your empty words of salvation mean nothing. You ARE a hypocrite. And we will call you such.

Monopoly on Comfort

Last week a good friend of mine died. He was young. He was fairly healthy. He died of something that should have been easily preventable...had he only had health insurance. But, like millions of other Americans, he had no way to pay for a regular doctors visit so he could get a simple, generic medication that could have prevented his death. But, that's another rant.

This rant is about all the friends and family of his that sent out dozens of messages of prayers and 'god's love'. 

This pissed off ALL of his secular friends. 

You see, my friend, his name is Heath (real name), was an atheist. He was a part of my secular community. He had atheist friends. His family disowned him and didn't speak to him for DECADES for various reasons, one of which included his lack of belief. He found a community at the Secular Hub. He walked into our lives one day and nestled there. He was one of us. A part of our 'tribe', as someone put it. He was ours and we were his. We were growing a stronger community together. And we came together as a stronger community because of this tragedy. 

His aunt, who had not spoken to him in 3 decades, sent a message to his Facebook saying that he was 'wrapped in God's arms'. His friends, old school friends, army buddies, what-have-you, wrote on his wall about how, even though he didn't believe, it didn't mean that God didn't believe in him. (By the way, lady, it's incredibly classless to call his property manager to ask for all his jewelry or anything of value while he was still breathing by ventilator in the ICU. Bitch) 

I was shaking with anger. 

These people were so disrespectful of Heath and his opinions they didn't even PRETEND to hide it. "All he did was bash the bible but I'm still praying for him." 

Fuck. You. 

You do not get to have the moral high ground because you think your religion is the know-all and be-all of life. 

You do not get to rub your religion in a dying man's face when he is unable to argue back. 

You do not get to tell his friends, the ones who were actually there for him in his hospital room, that you are praying for us and him, even though you KNOW we are atheists. 

You do not get to play the jilted Christian when the atheists remind you that we are not comforted by your empty words of prayer. 

Your particular brand of false comfort and hope does not help us. It does not make us feel looked-after, comforted, or better. Our friend is dying. We will never again be able to debate with him, take him for a beer, or laugh with him. We will never be able to make new memories with him. Mocking us with false promises of an afterlife with him is just hurtful. Especially since you have condemned us to hell for not believing in the first place. 

And, by us pointing that out to you, does not give you the right to pretend that we are everything you imagined we are; angry. 

We are able to cope just fine without your mythical sky-daddy, thank you. We will always remember the arguments, debates, funny stories, adventures, and general goofiness of our friend Heath. We will remember him as he was; not just in a hospital bed. We will remember him hiking, shoveling the sidewalk in front of the Hub, eating all the stale popcorn after our movie nights, being there at every lecture just to learn more, and being the greatest reminder of the 90's we never knew we needed. 

We will remember because that's all we have. We have our memories. I hope to have half the friends there for me when I'm in need as he did. The best we can do is live this life to the fullest, with the best possible people, and with a love for life that can't be measured in bible quotes. We don't get a second chance. We don't get a reward for being a good person in the afterlife. We don't get to be 'called home' one day.

Our reward is that we have a happy life right now. With friends who support us. By helping our community. By being good people just because we want to make our ONLY home a better place. 

We lost our friend. Just like you. However, we loved him no matter what. We accepted him for all his quirks, his ridiculous love of Buffy, his intellect, wit, and, of course, his atheism. Unlike you. 

Do Atheists Grieve?

Over the weekend the Denver secular community lost an ally, a friend, a good man. He was an astonishing man who cared about his wife, his dog, and his friends. I met him too late and only got a small portion of his good nature, humor, and ingenuity. He will be missed.

I got the news of his passing while leaving work Monday afternoon. I happened to look at my email before shutting down my office computer for the night. I had to sit in my office chair and sob for a few minutes before I was able to compose myself and keep it together to walk out and drive myself home. My coworkers did not notice a thing. Which is what I wanted. No one likes to cry at work.

The next day I was speaking with a coworker who has become a close friend. She is a Christian. We have a good friendship in and outside of work. We have a different opinion about religion and that's all. We have always been able to speak about religion without it turning into an argument. Not being familiar with much about religion other than her own, she uses me as a way to understand other religions as well as secularism.

When I told her about losing my secular friend she asked me, "Do atheists hold memorial services? Do they grieve like everyone else?"

My initial response was, "Yes, of course!"

But, now I wonder. Do we really grieve like everyone else? Sure, we become sad. We cry. We celebrate their life. We get mad about the stupid situation of death. But, we don't justify it the way others do.

Many times growing up, I remember being told that people die for God's reasons. He needed another angel, he had a different plan that we did, it was their time to go to heaven....whatever. I heard them all. Christians are able to comfort themselves with all these ideas of their loved one being in a better place. They believe that they will be able to see them again in heaven.

I don't get that luxury anymore. There is no way for me to be able to tell someone after they die how I really feel about them. I won't ever get to see them again.

Since I became an atheist, I feel like my connections with people are more real. I feel more inclined to make genuine friendships. My relationship with my SO is very strong. I feel like I don't have time to make false friendships. I don't have room to spare for feelings of hatred. The connections I have with family and friends must be real.

This short life is all I have. I don't get another chance and I don't get a reward in the afterlife. My reward is what I make of it here and now. I have a great group of friends and we go on adventures together. I have few best friends with whom I can share anything. I have older friends from whom I can gain advice. I have younger friends I can pass guidance on to. I have a wonderful SO with whom I can be challenged by, be encouraged to grow, and be silly in love.

So, yes. We grieve. We feel loss. We feel anger. We rejoice in the brief, but wonderful, time we had with someone. We never forget. But we don't take comfort in fairy tales. We take comfort in each other.

We have to. Now is all we got.

I'm not surprised but I do feel bad.

Weeks ago there was a big scandal about the cheater's website, Ashley Madison, data being hacked. Thousands of names, addresses, emails, and account information for its users were obtained by a group which threatened to release this information to the public.

I found the whole situation funny, yet unsettling. What grown, consenting adults do in their spare time is none of my business. There are lots of things people do that I would never do. Have an affair? Nope. Get drunk in bars and bring home a stranger? Not in a VERY long time. Go to church? Never again.

My only issues were that , one, some people are going to get really hurt with this. For a person in a monogamous relationship to cheat, that's one thing. But, what if the cheater picked up a disease and spread it to their partner? What if they got pregnant or got someone pregnant? That seems like a lot of heartache. Personally, I wouldn't want to go through it nor would I want a loved one to go through it.

My other issue is the whole idea of this website getting breached. It sounds like a scary security issue. We recently had the Home Depot and Target credit card information hack. It seems like it's a rising trend that online security is becoming more of a problem.

Today, however, came the not-so-shocking news that Josh Duggar, from the recently-cancelled TLC show 19 Kids and Counting, had an account on the Ashley Madison website. For years.

Here is the story from Raw Story:

http://www.rawstory.com/2015/08/josh-duggar-admits-to-porn-addiction-and-being-unfaithful-to-wife-i-have-been-the-biggest-hypocrite-ever/

I, at first, reserved judgement on this one. The family has had a lot of controversy recently with the learning of Josh's teen molestation scandal. So, I wanted to make sure I heard more information before I wrote about it or took it too seriously.

Josh put out a statement this afternoon addressing it and it seems to be a true story.

All I can say is that I'm not surprised. The church I grew up in always called us hypocrites, undeserving worms, and all other sorts of things a 4th grader shouldn't even be aware of. We were constantly being told that we were sinners, our bodies were not for ourselves, and the devil would try to tempt us into doing wrong things. By being able to call ourselves such hurtful things, we were able to accept Jesus more easily. He was the only one who would truly love us regardless of our sins. To err was to be human. Once we did wrong we were then able to ask for forgiveness.

That's what our church wanted. They wanted us to need Jesus.  So they made every natural instinct we had into something vile and dirty. They made us ashamed of ourselves and our natural desires.

I can only assume that Josh was taught nothing about his body. Only that his urges and sexual curiosity were shameful. Am I condoning his actions, both as a teen and now? Of course not. I was taught the same bullshit and I never once tried to molest anyone. Nor am I a cheater. However, I had the advantage of having outside resources and education away from the church.

I'm only trying to say that, once you make something taboo, people have a tendency to be drawn to it. I believe that's what happened to Josh. He became curious, hated himself for it, and tried to condemn it as much as possible publicly. He worked hard to not only make it shameful to himself, but to make it shameful to everyone.

In the end it caught up with him.

I do feel sorry for his family, though. In all honesty, I think the family tried to do the best they could. Isn't that what all families try to do? The best they knew was through their faith. These people truly believe in their god. And they were trying to do the best they could with their holy book. The problem isn't always with the people who believe, it's with the things they believe.

What's made this worse is that Josh and his family will cling tighter to their own personal cross. They will wail harder about how we need Jesus all over because he apparently missed a spot. The Christians will be reminded that even the best of them can be reached by the devil. I guarantee this will somehow become an internet censorship issue. At the very least, it will be traced back to abstinence only sex-ed. Just watch.

We will also get to hear about how this is being blown out of proportion by the liberal media.  Fox News won't touch it. I can't wait to hear what my conservative family and friends have to say about it- if anything at all.

My heart hurts for the family but not my head. My head thought, "Well, it's about time!"

Planned Parenthood was there for me

About 12 years ago I walked into a Planned Parenthood in Chicago. I was scarred and slightly annoyed.

I was told that only whores go to Planned Parenthood. Except now I was going.

Maybe I was a whore.

I was told that if you were responsible enough to have sex, you should have been responsible enough to take care of a child.

What horseshit.

I was visiting my then-boyfriend at Loyola University.  So, of course, I was staying with him in his dorm room.

The condom broke.

We were both scared. We were 18. Both of us freshmen at our universities. He, in Chicago and I was in NOLA. We had dated throughout high school. This was to be our 'goodbye' trip. I came up to see him once more before we both moved on with our lives. There was no way either of us wanted a pregnancy.

He found a PP location online and off we went. I was scared that there would be protesters screaming at me. I had heard of them being there. I was taught growing up in the church that they were there to protect the unborn babies. They were the ones doing God's work in the trenches.

There was no one. Thank goodness.

We walked into the clinic, filled out some forms, and were quickly taken into an exam room. The doctor who saw me was very helpful and understanding. She asked me questions that I had never been asked before. Allowed me to ask as many questions as I needed. Even my boyfriend had some questions, which she happily answered. She explained basic biology to me that I had never heard before. She wrote me a prescription for Plan B.

And that was it.

I went to a local pharmacy and filled the prescription. No problems whatsoever.

I'm not sure if I would have actually become pregnant or not. But, because of Planned Parenthood, I didn't have to worry about it. So many women don't have to worry about it.

Women and men alike go there for contraceptives, STD checks, education, screenings, assault and rape help, and so much more. And, yes, abortions. 3% of what PP does is abortion services.

In my home state of Louisiana there are currently two PP clinics. Neither of which perform abortions. Another location is under construction in NOLA. It was recently firebombed. Yay for religious nuts!

Governor Jindal is trying his damnest to cut Medicaid funding to PP just so he can stop abortions from happening in his state. Will he also try to cut Medicaid funding to other clinics for some other unpopular reason? I'm sure this is all about 'women's health' and not his presidential campaign. Of course...

Abortions are not popular with certain groups of people but it is legal. And, it's legal for a reason. It's legal to protect women from back-alley abortions with unsanitary tools. It's legal to stop survivors of rape and incest from being continually victimized by being forced to carry an unwanted child. It's legal so that a woman who needs a life saving procedure can do so without being sent to prison.

It's legal because it's my fucking body and I have a right to it.

Corpses have a right to their body parts. No one argues this. I can write in my will that even though there are desperate and dying children who could use my healthy organs, they can go fuck themselves because I'm going to rot in this coffin intact. No one would say a word. In fact, many 'pro-lifers' would fight to the death my right to be able to do that.

But, while alive, I better not get pregnant and try to abort. My body is nothing but a vessel for this little bundle of cells. Once it's born, no one will give a shit about it.

Am I saying that I really want to go out and get pregnant just so I can get an abortion? Of course not! No one WANTS to get an abortion. No one is running around screaming, "YIPPEE! I get to have an abortion today!" That's absurd.

But, please, let's all de-fund an organization that is trying to prevent abortions in the first place. Let's de-fund a group of dedicated doctors and nurses who are trying desperately, with limited resources, to keep poor families' heads afloat. Let's pretend that abstinence only education is actually working.

The more you prevent the less panic we will have in the future. I really wish more people would look past the veil of their religion and see the actual culture. We need Planned Parenthood. Our people cannot afford our expensive medical system. We cannot afford more children on the welfare system. We cannot afford to pretend there isn't a problem.

You want less abortions? Try allowing us to actually prevent pregnancies.

Hypocritical Duggars

Surprise surprise. One of the Duggar kids is a pervert.


https://celebrity.yahoo.com/blogs/celeb-news/josh-duggar-named-in-underage-sex-abuse-scandal--report-195532368.html

According to the Yahoo story, Josh Duggar, the oldest of the Duggar kids, has been accused of molesting minors, including his own sisters, when he was a teen. He has admitted to it and has stepped down as Executive Director of the Family Research Council.

Here's a short timeline:

March of 2002 : 14 year old Josh is accused of 'fondling...(the) breasts and vaginas' of his victims mostly while the girls slept but, sometimes while they were awake. His father, Jim Bob, knew about it but did nothing.

July 2002:  Josh does it again. Tells his father. Jim Bob, again, does nothing.

March 2003: Josh strikes again and Jim Bob consults his church. Josh was placed in a 'Christian program' from March-July. His family claimed that Josh apologized to his victims and they 'forgave him' and the church was aware of his actions.

Michelle, the mother, later learns that her son was not sent for treatment, but was instead sent to work for a family friend in his home remodeling business.

When Josh was sent back home in July 2003 he was taken to see another family friend who was a state trooper. This friend had a 'very stern talk' with Josh about his actions. The friend is now serving a 56 year sentence for child pornography. Nice.

It's not until 2006 that any formal investigation was performed. This was only after a letter was sent to Harpo Studios before the family was to appear on the Oprah show. The studio contacted the Department of Human Services.

This also happened to be just after the statute of limitations had expired on the chance to prosecute the little perv.

The family is only just now publicly talking about this incident because TMZ found the documents through the Freedom of Information Act. The family is claiming that Josh has made himself right with God. God has forgiven him and blessed the family with good fortune. Fantastic.

The rest of the world is now aware that your perverted son got away with it.

Atheists are constantly accused of being able to do anything without having to answer to anyone. I don't know about other atheists, but when I do something wrong I tend to feel guilty about it and apologize to the person I've wronged and try to make amends. I've never done anything that would make me have to go to the authorities. But, if I ever get the urge to molest someone, I'll make sure I turn myself in and get real help.

This family is hiding behind their religion. They answer to no real authority. They allowed their son to not only molest outside girls, but their own daughters. They neither sought help for him or the other children nor did they do anything to rectify the situation in a true legal fashion.

Their son had no real guidance about what was wrong. He was taught no lesson about how to control himself, received no therapy about what he did, and suffered no recourse for his actions. Their daughters were treated like playthings and given no other consideration. The other minors he molested were not treated like human beings. The only thing that mattered to them was their reputation and that their imaginary 'god' forgave them. And, of course he did. He did because they wanted him to.

How dare these people. They are hypocrites. What's worse is that they know they are hypocrites. They constantly say they are. Their religion tells them they are. It's a part of the being 'saved' deal. You are saved because you are wicked, a hypocrite, a worm. They have this guilt in them all the time. They use this as a way to justify their actions. They use it to 'humble themselves in the sight of the Lord'. Everything they do is somehow already wrong. As long as they ask for forgiveness, they will be washed of all sins. Including the perverted ones.

So they need no police authority for when they do something wrong. They wrong you, run to their church, ask for forgiveness, are granted forgiveness (of course), and if you don't believe in their god, oh well.

This is why the Christian way is the cowardly way. They pretend the world is persecuting them when they claim their god has forgiven them. What about the real victims, Duggars? The children that were molested? The son you refused to seek help for? The children of Josh?

But, no. It's you who are the one being hurt here. Cowards.

How dare you.

A pharmacist in Georgia has decided that her personal beliefs trump the medical needs of a patron.

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2015/04/walmart-uses-georgia-conscience-clause-to-refuse-womans-miscarriage-treatment/

Sadly, a woman had a miscarriage 5 weeks into her pregnancy. Instead of having a D&C, the woman and her physician decided to try medication and let her body do what it does on its own.

She went to a Wal-Mart (first bad move) to have her prescriptions filled. They pharmacist on duty at the time decided not to fill the prescription because she 'couldn't think of a reason she would need the prescription'.

Excuse me?

Excuse ME??

FUCKING EXCUSE ME?!?

YOU are not a doctor. It is not YOUR place to make medical decisions about ANOTHER person's body. HOW DARE YOU?!?

I cannot believe a WOMAN has decided to make a very personal decision like this for ANOTHER WOMAN'S body. How are we fighting against one another like this?

If you want your religion to rule over your life, fine. Do not bring that shit into my life. How fucking dare you. I'm not even using that as a question anymore. It's a statement. I don't give two shits about your goddamned opinion. If you think giving out medication is going to upset your god then find a new occupation. This isn't difficult, people.

Luckily, the woman was able to go to another pharmacy to get her prescription filled.

Fucking Georgia.