So, today I found an article from Faux News containing a video from Live Action. (Don;t judge me about the Faux News...it happens) The video is about the 'debunking' of Planned Parenthood's 3% abortion statistic. Here is the video on YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtgqxvaV-8U
Please, take the 4 minutes to watch them desperately try to make PP into a monster by counting the service of an STI test or pregnancy test........as a service.
Planned Parenthood counts services they give to a women as services and they count the service of abortion as a service. (Try saying that three times fast) There is nothing sinister about this.
The video makers seems to think that the cost of a service is what should count. Abortions range from $400-$1500, sure, and pregnancy tests can be about $10. Fine. But that doesn't mean that the abortion should count more than the test. Both are services. Try telling your doctor that they don't need to charge you for labs or time spent because the real reason you're there is because of the meds. (wink wink)
And, yes, the 3% abortion statistic makes sense when you divide the number of patients they see by the number of services they provide. Just because you don't like their qualifiers doesn't mean you get to call the math 'bogus'.
Is the number misleading? Maybe. I'll give you that. If abortions were not such a 'hot button' issue then maybe they wouldn't need to have the 3% number. They could easily say that 1 in 8 women go to Planned Parenthood for abortions. They could easily say that 30% of their funding comes from providing abortions. Sure. But, you're right. It's a PR problem.
Because organizations like yours have MADE it into a PR problem.
Also, don't think I didn't notice how you kept saying 'commit' instead of 'performed'. Planned Parenthood performs medical procedures. You don't commit them. You are intentionally trying to make it sound sinister.
The video used The Washington Post's Fact Checking article for some of it's data:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/fact-checker/wp/2015/08/12/for-planned-parenthood-abortion-stats-3-percent-and-94-percent-are-both-misleading/
This article also notes that the anti-choice foundation Susan B Anthony List uses misleading numbers as well. Guess how many times the video mentions this?
This is from that article:
"But Planned Parenthood does not provide the number of pregnant clients it has in a year, or what services they received. So pregnant women may have come to the clinic to receive a service other than (or in addition to) an abortion, prenatal care or adoption referral — the only three services counted in SBA List’s criteria. SBA List also does not include 1.13 million pregnancy tests, a portion of which may be given to a pregnant woman.
"Multiple prenatal services may be offered to one woman, so the prenatal services number may not compare directly to the number of adoption procedures (assuming one abortion per woman). The 2013 report does not identify the number of prenatal clients, but Planned Parenthood numbers from 2009 give us an idea of how these numbers can differ. Planned Parenthood reported 7,021 prenatal clients in 2009, but also reported in its 2010 annual report that it provided 40,489 prenatal services in 2009.
"Planned Parenthood clinics also refer pregnant patients to outside providers for prenatal services. A spokeswoman recently told PolitiFact that the organization does not record the number of such referrals.
"Knowing the full number of referrals for various pregnancy-related services would give a fuller picture. For example, Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains partners with a midwifery practice for its Prenatal Plus Program, assigning case managers to help pregnant women with parenting classes, counselors and a registered dietician. Planned Parenthood Mid and South Michigan connects pregnant women with community resources for a variety of pregnancy-related services."
So, it sounds like Planned Parenthood took the actual services THEY provide, divided them by the number of people THEY rendered those services to and came up with the 3%. It sounds misleading. But, the math checks out. Anti-choice people don't like it. And that's fine. But, Roe v Wade granted US women the right to chose what happens to their bodies. That's that. No amount of fear mongering will change that.
Planned Parenthood is providing a safe and legal option for women. They have become to go-to for women because they provide the compassionate care to all income levels. And I will always fight to make sure all women have the right to go there for services.
Friday, September 16, 2016
Tuesday, August 30, 2016
I support the University of Chicago in Not Supporting #SafeSpaces
The Chicago Tribune released a report yesterday. In it they showed a letter that the University of Chicago class of 2020 received announcing that the university would not be providing 'trigger warnings' or 'intellectual safe spaces' for their students.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/breaking/ct-university-of-chicago-safe-spaces-letter-met-20160825-story.html
The letter said, in part, that the university does not support "so called 'trigger warning'", [does] not cancel invited speakers because their topics might prove controversial, and we do not condone the creation of intellectual 'safe spaces' where individuals can retreat from ideas and perspectives at odds with their own."
I completely support this decision and applaud them for their stance.
Let me explain...
I completely understand PTSD. I understand that people have it and a trigger warring is helpful in their lives. But this is getting ridiculous. Much of the controversy is coming down to definitions of the words 'trigger warnings', 'safe spaces', etc.
A 'trigger' is some word, image, or expression that 'triggers' an unintentional response, feeling, or emotion from a person. This is my understanding of the verb form of the word.
Here is the formal definition of the verb form of 'trigger':
The definition of 'trauma trigger' is: "...an experience that causes someone to recall a previous traumatic memory, although the trigger itself need not be frightening or traumatic and can be indirectly or superficially reminiscent an earlier traumatic incident."
I believe that the 'trauma trigger' is the kind of 'trigger' we are speaking about here. Here's my issue with 'trauma trigger warnings': you never know what will 'trigger' someone. Cars backfiring, the word taco, topics that include assault, talks on same-sex marriage, a cat, someone wearing a green dress, talks about IEDs, etc.
If a professor wants to put a trigger warning on their syllabus, fine. If they have had the experience that something in their class is going to be 'triggering' for someone, understood. But, the university cannot be expected to cater to every tiny thing that may set someone off. University or college is where an individual gets their first lesson in dealing with the real world and the real world doesn't have 'trigger warnings'.
Intellectual safe space? What the hell is that? I looked it up because I thought maybe I just didn't understand what they are talking about. I found an article from The Advocate entitled "Does University of Chicago Know Meaning of Safe Space?"
http://www.advocate.com/youth/2016/8/26/does-university-chicago-know-meaning-safe-spaces
I read it because I really wanted to make sure I knew that the term meant. They spoke with Campus Pride founder Shane Windmeyer who had this to say: "The intent of safe spaces is to empower colleges to support the needs of LGBTQ students by educating them on creating spaces where students feel comfortable to discuss issues of sexuality and gender identity."
Okay, I get it. Safe spaces were started for those being harassed can go to feel safe and get help. And I support them. I, myself, had a pin on my backpack in college delegating myself as a safe space for LGBTQ AND secular students. But, that was something I took on myself. I saw some of my professors with 'safe space' signs in their office windows. Again, this is easily something an individual can provide. I also joined many student-lead organizations that supported LGBTQ and secular students. That's where I found my safe spaces. I was responsible for seeking out those spaces or creating them if needed.
However, some groups have made it out that they need a space to go to when they have their opinions challenged. This is not something a university must provide for. I understand their main priority is to educate and challenge not hand hold.
And, sorry not sorry, if your university or a student-lead organization has invited a speaker to the campus and you do not agree with that...don't fucking go. OR you can act like a good adult, attend and listen to what the speaker says, ask questions, maybe, I don't know, LEARN SOMETHING. Even if you still don't agree with them at least you will have a better understanding of why you don't agree. Trust me, it makes you the better person when you are able to listen to varying opinions, entertain them, and still reject them. You're allowed to reject ideas. You are not allowed to silence others because you don't agree.
Universities are places where your ideas and beliefs are supposed to be challenged. But, they can not be responsible for students' emotional health, according a report issued by American Association of University Professors. That responsibility lies with counselors and other mental health experts which are sometimes already provided by the universities.
"Some discomfort is inevitable in classrooms if the goal is to expose students to new ideas, have them question beliefs they have taken for granted, grapple with ethical problems they have never considered, and, more generally, expand their horizons so as to become informed and responsible democratic citizens," an AAUP committee wrote in a 2014 report on the issue. "Trigger warnings suggest that classrooms should offer protection and comfort rather than an intellectually challenging education. They reduce students to vulnerable victims rather than full participants in the intellectual process of education."
As someone who is a survivor of an assault, I HATE when people give me a 'trigger warning'. I still jump when I hear a loud noise. Men who resemble my attacker will still make me uncomfortable. But they are my issues and I work through them when they happen.
I understand that not everyone feels the same way I do. But, I would rather handle my own emotions myself. They are, after all, my responsibility. And, after I was assaulted I sought emotional help and I received good (and FREE) care from an organization that was funded by the state. Help is out there. If you really need more emotional or psychological help, please seek it out! But, dear sweet fictional baby Jesus, don't force the rest of the world to cater to your emotional needs.
Does this make me sound crass? Sure. I accept that. Because I can't be responsible for how EVERYONE sees me or thinks of me. But, think about it, if you can't get through a classroom setting without a 'trigger warning' or a place to go so you can talk about how the day has affected you then you REALLY need more psychological help than a sentence on a paper about the upcoming conversation about assault/tacos/IEDs/religion/etc.
And, if you need more help, don't hesitate to seek it out. Just don't blame the rest of the world for not tiptoeing around you.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/breaking/ct-university-of-chicago-safe-spaces-letter-met-20160825-story.html
The letter said, in part, that the university does not support "so called 'trigger warning'", [does] not cancel invited speakers because their topics might prove controversial, and we do not condone the creation of intellectual 'safe spaces' where individuals can retreat from ideas and perspectives at odds with their own."
I completely support this decision and applaud them for their stance.
Let me explain...
I completely understand PTSD. I understand that people have it and a trigger warring is helpful in their lives. But this is getting ridiculous. Much of the controversy is coming down to definitions of the words 'trigger warnings', 'safe spaces', etc.
A 'trigger' is some word, image, or expression that 'triggers' an unintentional response, feeling, or emotion from a person. This is my understanding of the verb form of the word.
Here is the formal definition of the verb form of 'trigger':
verb
- 1.cause (an event or situation) to happen or exist."an allergy can be triggered by stress or overwork"
The definition of 'trauma trigger' is: "...an experience that causes someone to recall a previous traumatic memory, although the trigger itself need not be frightening or traumatic and can be indirectly or superficially reminiscent an earlier traumatic incident."
I believe that the 'trauma trigger' is the kind of 'trigger' we are speaking about here. Here's my issue with 'trauma trigger warnings': you never know what will 'trigger' someone. Cars backfiring, the word taco, topics that include assault, talks on same-sex marriage, a cat, someone wearing a green dress, talks about IEDs, etc.
If a professor wants to put a trigger warning on their syllabus, fine. If they have had the experience that something in their class is going to be 'triggering' for someone, understood. But, the university cannot be expected to cater to every tiny thing that may set someone off. University or college is where an individual gets their first lesson in dealing with the real world and the real world doesn't have 'trigger warnings'.
Intellectual safe space? What the hell is that? I looked it up because I thought maybe I just didn't understand what they are talking about. I found an article from The Advocate entitled "Does University of Chicago Know Meaning of Safe Space?"
http://www.advocate.com/youth/2016/8/26/does-university-chicago-know-meaning-safe-spaces
I read it because I really wanted to make sure I knew that the term meant. They spoke with Campus Pride founder Shane Windmeyer who had this to say: "The intent of safe spaces is to empower colleges to support the needs of LGBTQ students by educating them on creating spaces where students feel comfortable to discuss issues of sexuality and gender identity."
Okay, I get it. Safe spaces were started for those being harassed can go to feel safe and get help. And I support them. I, myself, had a pin on my backpack in college delegating myself as a safe space for LGBTQ AND secular students. But, that was something I took on myself. I saw some of my professors with 'safe space' signs in their office windows. Again, this is easily something an individual can provide. I also joined many student-lead organizations that supported LGBTQ and secular students. That's where I found my safe spaces. I was responsible for seeking out those spaces or creating them if needed.
However, some groups have made it out that they need a space to go to when they have their opinions challenged. This is not something a university must provide for. I understand their main priority is to educate and challenge not hand hold.
And, sorry not sorry, if your university or a student-lead organization has invited a speaker to the campus and you do not agree with that...don't fucking go. OR you can act like a good adult, attend and listen to what the speaker says, ask questions, maybe, I don't know, LEARN SOMETHING. Even if you still don't agree with them at least you will have a better understanding of why you don't agree. Trust me, it makes you the better person when you are able to listen to varying opinions, entertain them, and still reject them. You're allowed to reject ideas. You are not allowed to silence others because you don't agree.
Universities are places where your ideas and beliefs are supposed to be challenged. But, they can not be responsible for students' emotional health, according a report issued by American Association of University Professors. That responsibility lies with counselors and other mental health experts which are sometimes already provided by the universities.
"Some discomfort is inevitable in classrooms if the goal is to expose students to new ideas, have them question beliefs they have taken for granted, grapple with ethical problems they have never considered, and, more generally, expand their horizons so as to become informed and responsible democratic citizens," an AAUP committee wrote in a 2014 report on the issue. "Trigger warnings suggest that classrooms should offer protection and comfort rather than an intellectually challenging education. They reduce students to vulnerable victims rather than full participants in the intellectual process of education."
As someone who is a survivor of an assault, I HATE when people give me a 'trigger warning'. I still jump when I hear a loud noise. Men who resemble my attacker will still make me uncomfortable. But they are my issues and I work through them when they happen.
I understand that not everyone feels the same way I do. But, I would rather handle my own emotions myself. They are, after all, my responsibility. And, after I was assaulted I sought emotional help and I received good (and FREE) care from an organization that was funded by the state. Help is out there. If you really need more emotional or psychological help, please seek it out! But, dear sweet fictional baby Jesus, don't force the rest of the world to cater to your emotional needs.
Does this make me sound crass? Sure. I accept that. Because I can't be responsible for how EVERYONE sees me or thinks of me. But, think about it, if you can't get through a classroom setting without a 'trigger warning' or a place to go so you can talk about how the day has affected you then you REALLY need more psychological help than a sentence on a paper about the upcoming conversation about assault/tacos/IEDs/religion/etc.
And, if you need more help, don't hesitate to seek it out. Just don't blame the rest of the world for not tiptoeing around you.
Thursday, August 18, 2016
My Home is Flooded and People Only Care About the President?
This past week I have seen many responses to the historic flooding happening in southern Louisiana. Good people coming together. Black, white, Latino, everyone is helping each other. That's what I'm seeing reported by my friends and family in Livingston and Tangipahoa Parish. The Cajun Navy is the funniest thing I've every seen.
I'm also proud as hell to be from there.
My parent's home is right on a canal that leads to Lake Pontchartrain and, luckily, on stilts but, the water still rose to 8.5 feet. The water came up to the bottom of the house. My father's shed is ruined, along with all his belongings that were in it (except the Harley, of course). He used his boat to rescue elderly neighbors down the street who were trapped. The neighbors have lost everything.
They were luckier than most. Of the 137,000 some odd residents of his parish, 103,000 have suffered property damage or have lost everything. It's reported that 12 people have died. Hundreds injured. So, so many are homeless. My parents are lucky and I'm so happy that after Katrina my dad had the good sense to rebuild his house in the air.
My Alma Mater, Southeastern Louisiana University, has been asking for volunteers daily to help neighbors with clean-up. Anyone from freshmen to athletes have been in the community helping with the messy aftermath that is a monstrous flood.
Friends and relatives of mine all over the country have been donating the best they can or just packing up and heading home to help.
It's disasters like this that prove to me, once again, that the human race is a strong, if quirky, creature. We argue about simple things like religion, income, and color. But, when we really need to, we come together like no other species I know of. We are all possessed with the same spirit of helping our neighbor and it makes me proud to see. And, I may be biased here but, I think that southern people embody this feeling just a tad more than the rest of the country.
And I'm so proud of our ability to see past all the bickering and come together to help one another.
Until....The Advocate, Baton Rouge's main newspaper, wrote an open letter to the president expressing their disappointment that he had not yet visited the flooded areas. Read the letter at The Advocate's page here:
http://www.theadvocate.com/baton_rouge/opinion/our_views/article_f1ce22ee-64b4-11e6-b11a-a393ff25161d.html
The strongly opinionated piece, printed as an editorial, complains about the president's golf game and laments about former president Bush's fly-by following hurricane Katrina.
Baton Rouge, this is not what we need right now. The president, I'm sure, is very abreast of the destruction to the state. As, I'm sure, he is very much aware of the hundreds of thousands of people who are homeless and displaced in California due to the wildfires there.
For President Obama to come to the affected areas would cause a media storm, disrupt the relief efforts, and be a general nuisance to the Cajun Navy trying to do their damn best. What exactly do you want him to do? Roll up his sleeves and toss sandbags in front of the many cameras that follow him around?
Sure, he could do that. I'm almost positive he wants to. There are many, many security people and strategists that stop him from doing things like that all the time, I'm sure. But, really think about it. Just stop, take a deep breath, and think.
Think about what you could be using your print space for instead. Maybe notifications for those who are missing people? Maybe they are missing pets? Maybe post more stories about the community coming together to help? That's a different story than the pulling apart that has been plaguing the capital city for the past year.
I get it. Feel-good stories don't always sell papers. But, I can promise you that you will lose more subscribers with this political baiting than you will when you show how our community is one of unity.
President Obama doesn't need more press. Trust me. The Cajun Navy needs more press. Off-duty cops making neighborhood checks for safety need more recognition. People who save strangers and their dogs from sinking cars need to be highlighted.
Like Mr. Rogers said, "In times of trouble, look for the helpers."
I'm also proud as hell to be from there.
My parent's home is right on a canal that leads to Lake Pontchartrain and, luckily, on stilts but, the water still rose to 8.5 feet. The water came up to the bottom of the house. My father's shed is ruined, along with all his belongings that were in it (except the Harley, of course). He used his boat to rescue elderly neighbors down the street who were trapped. The neighbors have lost everything.
They were luckier than most. Of the 137,000 some odd residents of his parish, 103,000 have suffered property damage or have lost everything. It's reported that 12 people have died. Hundreds injured. So, so many are homeless. My parents are lucky and I'm so happy that after Katrina my dad had the good sense to rebuild his house in the air.
My Alma Mater, Southeastern Louisiana University, has been asking for volunteers daily to help neighbors with clean-up. Anyone from freshmen to athletes have been in the community helping with the messy aftermath that is a monstrous flood.
Friends and relatives of mine all over the country have been donating the best they can or just packing up and heading home to help.
It's disasters like this that prove to me, once again, that the human race is a strong, if quirky, creature. We argue about simple things like religion, income, and color. But, when we really need to, we come together like no other species I know of. We are all possessed with the same spirit of helping our neighbor and it makes me proud to see. And, I may be biased here but, I think that southern people embody this feeling just a tad more than the rest of the country.
And I'm so proud of our ability to see past all the bickering and come together to help one another.
Until....The Advocate, Baton Rouge's main newspaper, wrote an open letter to the president expressing their disappointment that he had not yet visited the flooded areas. Read the letter at The Advocate's page here:
http://www.theadvocate.com/baton_rouge/opinion/our_views/article_f1ce22ee-64b4-11e6-b11a-a393ff25161d.html
The strongly opinionated piece, printed as an editorial, complains about the president's golf game and laments about former president Bush's fly-by following hurricane Katrina.
Baton Rouge, this is not what we need right now. The president, I'm sure, is very abreast of the destruction to the state. As, I'm sure, he is very much aware of the hundreds of thousands of people who are homeless and displaced in California due to the wildfires there.
For President Obama to come to the affected areas would cause a media storm, disrupt the relief efforts, and be a general nuisance to the Cajun Navy trying to do their damn best. What exactly do you want him to do? Roll up his sleeves and toss sandbags in front of the many cameras that follow him around?
Sure, he could do that. I'm almost positive he wants to. There are many, many security people and strategists that stop him from doing things like that all the time, I'm sure. But, really think about it. Just stop, take a deep breath, and think.
Think about what you could be using your print space for instead. Maybe notifications for those who are missing people? Maybe they are missing pets? Maybe post more stories about the community coming together to help? That's a different story than the pulling apart that has been plaguing the capital city for the past year.
I get it. Feel-good stories don't always sell papers. But, I can promise you that you will lose more subscribers with this political baiting than you will when you show how our community is one of unity.
President Obama doesn't need more press. Trust me. The Cajun Navy needs more press. Off-duty cops making neighborhood checks for safety need more recognition. People who save strangers and their dogs from sinking cars need to be highlighted.
Like Mr. Rogers said, "In times of trouble, look for the helpers."
Monday, August 1, 2016
I Don't Support Aborting Disabled Fetuses
....but I'd support your decision to NOT have a disabled child. Any day of the week.
We all know my stance on abortion for myself. I had a slight pregnancy scare last month. I was prepared to go down to Planned Parenthood if needed. I had a friend ready to go with me for support.
I'm having an IUD placed this week. I don't want another scare and, with the new ACA rules, my insurance must cover one so, why not?
A group of friends and I were talking about abortions, birth control, periods, and men. (Super original) Someone brought up how Mike Pence (Trump's running mate) put in place a law banning abortions of fetuses with a disability. We all agreed that this was a terrible idea.
Let me be clear: I DO NOT think it is a great idea for a woman to abort a baby just because they have a disability. I completely understand that disabled people can have rewarding and fulfilling lives for themselves and their families. I understand this and I understand that people with disabilities have every right to live as anyone else.
I also understand that a woman and family have the right to decide if they are ready for the emotional, financial, and physical expense it takes to not only raise a child, but raise a child with a disability.
I have an interesting job. A job where I see people with disabilities and how it affects their lives and their families lives. I've seen people with a disability that hardly affects their daily life and I've seen some who's every activity from breathing, eating, and self-care must be performed by someone else. I've seen kids who were born with a defect that made them emotionally and developmentally unstable to the point where they need to be housed in a facility that can properly care for them.
I understand that there is a difference between someone being born with a disability and someone being injured and developing a disability. I've seen it financially ruin a family. I've seen it destroy emotional bonds between family members.
I've also seen the joy that kids, no matter what, bring to those who love them.
I don't want children. Never did. I understand that some people feel more fulfilled with children. I feel terrible that my body is capable of having children that I have no desire to have. Mostly because I know there are plenty of people who would love to welcome a child into their lives. But, they can't. And I can't change that.
I will never, and I mean NEVER, judge someone who is aborting, or has aborted, a fetus because of a disability. I see it the same as a women who can't afford a child to start with getting an abortion. If a family wants to have a child but are not financially or emotionally prepared to care for the staggering needs of a child with a disability, then that is a choice they must make for themselves. Forcing medical expenses on a women or family is irresponsible. It creates an unnecessary burden on the family and the community.
We have the medical advancements to be able to tell if a fetus is in trouble in the womb. We have the ability to tell if the fetus will be viable or not. We can see if it will have a disability. What's the point of seeing if we are not able to be prepared for it or decide if it's something we can handle?
This will come across as the most crass thing that I will ever write: knowingly having a disabled child when you know you cannot afford it is a waste of community resources. Having any child, healthy or not, when you can't afford it, is irresponsible and a drain on our resources. Perhaps that speaks more to our country's healthcare system than to our morality but, there it is.
Taking away that choice from a family is one of the most terrible things I can think of. Trump and Pence are a dangerous duo and I hope beyond hope that America doesn't have the misfortune of seeing them take charge.
I'm not a huge fan of Hilary but I will happily vote for her, or anyone, who keeps those two monsters out of office and away from women's rights. Because they will destroy both.
We all know my stance on abortion for myself. I had a slight pregnancy scare last month. I was prepared to go down to Planned Parenthood if needed. I had a friend ready to go with me for support.
I'm having an IUD placed this week. I don't want another scare and, with the new ACA rules, my insurance must cover one so, why not?
A group of friends and I were talking about abortions, birth control, periods, and men. (Super original) Someone brought up how Mike Pence (Trump's running mate) put in place a law banning abortions of fetuses with a disability. We all agreed that this was a terrible idea.
Let me be clear: I DO NOT think it is a great idea for a woman to abort a baby just because they have a disability. I completely understand that disabled people can have rewarding and fulfilling lives for themselves and their families. I understand this and I understand that people with disabilities have every right to live as anyone else.
I also understand that a woman and family have the right to decide if they are ready for the emotional, financial, and physical expense it takes to not only raise a child, but raise a child with a disability.
I have an interesting job. A job where I see people with disabilities and how it affects their lives and their families lives. I've seen people with a disability that hardly affects their daily life and I've seen some who's every activity from breathing, eating, and self-care must be performed by someone else. I've seen kids who were born with a defect that made them emotionally and developmentally unstable to the point where they need to be housed in a facility that can properly care for them.
I understand that there is a difference between someone being born with a disability and someone being injured and developing a disability. I've seen it financially ruin a family. I've seen it destroy emotional bonds between family members.
I've also seen the joy that kids, no matter what, bring to those who love them.
I don't want children. Never did. I understand that some people feel more fulfilled with children. I feel terrible that my body is capable of having children that I have no desire to have. Mostly because I know there are plenty of people who would love to welcome a child into their lives. But, they can't. And I can't change that.
I will never, and I mean NEVER, judge someone who is aborting, or has aborted, a fetus because of a disability. I see it the same as a women who can't afford a child to start with getting an abortion. If a family wants to have a child but are not financially or emotionally prepared to care for the staggering needs of a child with a disability, then that is a choice they must make for themselves. Forcing medical expenses on a women or family is irresponsible. It creates an unnecessary burden on the family and the community.
We have the medical advancements to be able to tell if a fetus is in trouble in the womb. We have the ability to tell if the fetus will be viable or not. We can see if it will have a disability. What's the point of seeing if we are not able to be prepared for it or decide if it's something we can handle?
This will come across as the most crass thing that I will ever write: knowingly having a disabled child when you know you cannot afford it is a waste of community resources. Having any child, healthy or not, when you can't afford it, is irresponsible and a drain on our resources. Perhaps that speaks more to our country's healthcare system than to our morality but, there it is.
Taking away that choice from a family is one of the most terrible things I can think of. Trump and Pence are a dangerous duo and I hope beyond hope that America doesn't have the misfortune of seeing them take charge.
I'm not a huge fan of Hilary but I will happily vote for her, or anyone, who keeps those two monsters out of office and away from women's rights. Because they will destroy both.
Wednesday, June 15, 2016
My Heart Will Always Be Floridian
Sunday morning I woke up and dragged myself into the kitchen to take my vitamins. I then absently turned on my television, flopped on the couch, and opened Facebook on my tablet.
One of my high school friends who is a member of the LGBT+ community in Florida was commenting about a shooting that had taken place in Orlando. He had lived in O-town until very recently.
My T.V. was on some shitty local broadcasting of a animal educational show. I switched it to a news station. Maybe they would have a report on it.
Then my heart sank.
I instantly became glued to my seat watching George Stephanopoulos in horror. I could not fathom 20 people being shot and dozens wounded at a night club. A gay nightclub. On Latin night. I've been to gay clubs on Latin night. It is usually a very laid-back night for all. Some of the best nights of my life.
I didn't know the reason. Was it a fight that went WAY too far? Was it a terrorist attack? Was it a hate crime?
My boyfriend came out of the bathroom in time to see me silently weeping on my couch. I'm frantically looking through my Facebook friends list to make sure all my friends from home were safe. I can barely tell him what was happening. He eventually just sits next to me on the couch, rubbing my back in some sort of effort to comfort me, and joins in my astonishment watching the T.V. screen.
After 20 minutes I was finally able to verify that all my LGBT friends were safe. (Some of their friends weren't so lucky) But then the number on the screen shot up. George announced that the death toll was now 50 and 53 injured.
I wanted to scream. I might have. There may have just been an audible gasp. Whatever it was, I was devastated....
In 1993 my mother moved my sisters and me to Brandon Florida. A township just outside of Tampa. Meant to be a suburb of Tampa, Brandon eventually grew enough to be it's own little town. Mom had just gotten her first job with her brand new bachelor's degree. She was thrilled, nervous, and scared as hell about moving to a state where she literally had no family and knew no one.
I was pissed.
I HATED having to move to Florida. I was 8 when we moved there. It was literally 1 month before my birthday when we moved. I had no friends. It was summer vacation and we had to spend all of it moving. I couldn't even have a party. Everything was terrible. My life was ruined.
The sun was so hot. I would eventually get sunburnt so bad I couldn't move for days. (I may develop some form of skin cancer, I'm sure of it) The thunderstorms were stuff of nightmares and they were never ending. Hurricanes are coming and they are named. You don't remember 'the hurricane of 1992'. You remember Andrew. And he was a mean bastard. Humidity makes you question the existence of a loving god. Mosquitoes, lizards, snakes, alligators....everything wanted to eat you.
Mother. Fucking. Cockroaches.
Those sons-of-bitches would appear like some sort of evil Disney magic. Fairy God-Palmetto Bug. And just when you got brave enough to throw a shoe at it, the bitch would fly. Bibbity-Bobbity Fuck That!
I found one in my shoe once. After I took it off at P.E. I had walked on it all day. My teacher had me walk it outside and dump it out ...then come back in to play with the parachute. Gave me the lesson of always checking your shoes before putting them on.
Anyway, I hated the state when I moved there. As I grew up, met some friends, got involved with the community, learned how to avoid the local wildlife, I started to fall in love with the place. And it's quirks.
Brandon is 30 minutes from the coast line on the gulf side. Clearwater beach is my favorite one. It's where I go to get a tan when I go home. (I swear Denver is making me paler than an Irish newborn covered in milk)
Brandon is an hour and a half away from Orlando. Which means it's an hour and a half away from Disney Magic. Seriously, we went there so much I got a little bored of it. Field trips were to Disney. Grad Night was at Disney. Epcot taught me about the world. Family passes were always just a part of life. Disney parks, Universal Studios, Bush Gardens, Adventure Island. My childhood was ingrained with theme parks and water slides. Awesome.
Publix. The glorious heaven that is Publix. Its graced southern people for decades. You don't need any other grocery store. They have everything you need. Publix subs are the best sandwiches I have ever eaten. I once had a friend who was visiting Florida stop at a Publix and get me a sandwich before he flew back home. It was amazing.
Flip-flops. Everywhere. 'Nuff said.
Florida's wildlife may be trying to kill you but the people aren't (mostly). I truly miss the laid back attitude of Florida people. They aren't in a hurry. (It's too hot) They aren't stressed. (There is a beach and a daiquiri nearby...) They aren't uptight. (Most everyone is in clothing made of linen and flip-flops. Life's good)
Most of them are just country people trying to get by. Do we get our share of crazy? Of course....plus some. 'Florida Man' is the best totally real/fictional character out there. And I love him. Whenever a friend of coworker here in Denver tells me a story they heard on the radio about 'Florida Man' I can usually counter with another one that I remember happening growing up.
And we make awesome food. Cuban food is my comfort food.
Seriously though. The Latin influence on my life is astounding. I know old country songs by heart, I can't speak a word of real Spanish, I'm as basic white girl as you can get........ but you set a plate of ropa vieja down in front of me with a side of fried plantains and, oh man! Watch me shame myself.
Spanglish is easier to pick up than real Spanish, too. Especially when it's being yelled at you from your high school boyfriend's abuela. And, club music with some reggaeton laid over it will always sound much better than some DJ throwing 'top 40' at you.
I didn't know how much the state meant to me until I left. My mother's side was never Floridian. They are good Kentucky people. But, my father's side of the family has been there since they came over from Scotland in the 1700's. My grandfather and I went to the same high school. It's pretty neat. Most of my father's family is still there. They always will be. It's a part of me.
Which leads me back to Sunday morning. Being almost 2,000 miles away from your home in a time of tragedy makes you anxious and start questioning why you left in the first place. The farther away I am the less useful I can be. All I could do is sit there and watch.
I watched a women plead for information about her son. I watched interviews with people who had escaped. I watched one news anchor after another try their damnedest to get through yet another report of a mass shooting in this country. I watched our president, once again, have to address the nation about another terror/mass shooting/high powered rifle attack on our people.
I watched feeling helpless.
But, I'm not helpless. I vote. I have a voice about this. I have the ability to study stats, study laws, study polls. I'm capable of standing up to the violence. I'm capable of saying that we no longer need assault weapons. We no longer need to coddle the 2nd amendment. It needs to be revised. Just like President Obama said, 'to actively do nothing is a decision.'
We also need to stop '#prayforOrlando'. We need to stop praying. Period. In the immediate wake of this massacre all I saw from religious people were 'our thoughts and prayer'...yada, yada, yada. GOD ISN'T FIXING THIS! And, the longer you spend on your knees talking to yourself, the more shit like this is going to keep happening.
Then, the hypocrite preachers started to rear their ugly heads. They came out to say that they are not sad that this happened. They are saying that they are sad more 'pedophiles and sodomites' didn't die. Some of my more religious friends didn't say anything. They did, however, immediately start blaming all Muslims. Something like, "Muslims are responsible for every terror attack on this soil and in other places around the world. Wake up America!" Funny how all Muslims to them are terrible based on a few yet, when a Christian goes 'rogue', they claim that they were never really Christian to begin with.
That's called a No True Scotsman argument, children. And it's a logical fallacy.
An attack was committed in Florida. Was it a terror attack or was it a hate crime?
Yes.
It was an attack on the LGBT+ community.
It was an attack on the Latin community.
It was an attack on my friends.
It was an attack on my home.
A gay nightclub is a place for the LGBT+ community to go for peace, fun, acceptance, and social needs. It's a place for them to forget their troubles and be free. It's supposed to be a safe haven. A place where they can be themselves because lord knows they can't be safe in the public streets.
Hearing and seeing so many people talking about how they are praying for the victims, survivors, and families pisses me off. Religious people is the only group of people who pushes for anti-LGBT laws. They are the only ones who teach their community that gay people are wrong or abominations. They actively try to block the LGBT lifestyle from everyday life and NOW they want to offer prayers?
Um, no. You don't get to pull out your religious nonsense in support of them when you have done nothing but oppress them. Religion and hate killed them. The last thing they need or want is more religion. Fuck off.
I'm equally disgusted at how quickly the NRA and pro-gun supporters were on the war path to defend their precious guns. Are you really more worried about your gun collection than human lives? Fuck off.
I no longer reside in Florida but it will always be my home. I will always defend it from people calling it 'America's Penis'. I will always root for the (Devil) Rays, Bucs (no matter how they suck), and FSU (fuck Gators). I will always prefer to go barefoot or in flip-flops than heels. I will always long for Publix, Bells, and some good Cuban bread to be close by. I will always watch storm after storm after storm hit Florida and wish I was at the hurricane party that I KNOW is happening.
And, I will always support Florida, it's wackadoos, and it's culture. I was proud of how they came together when this tragedy hit. The lines outside blood banks, the people rushing water, food and umbrellas to the donors, the vigils. The community, even with it's flaws, is one of strength and courage. I'm proud to be a part of it.
My only hope is that this country stops, comes together, and with one voice says 'enough' to mass killings. Until that happens......I guess I'll just keep having to write long blog posts like this.
Thursday, June 9, 2016
If you're not attracted to me that's A-OK
I'm so sick of the body shaming movement telling people that they don't have a right to their opinion.
I saw a post on imgur that was taken from Tumbler. (Maybe-I assume so b/c that's where you usually find this nonsense) The picture showed a big girl sans clothes on a subway train with the word 'beautiful' written all over herself.
Ok, fine. I'm glad she was proud of her body. That's a great step in becoming healthy in both mind and body. Loving yourself is very healthy.
But....sweetheart, you're practically naked on a subway train. Be proud of who you are but, there is a time and place for everything. Those people are trying to get along with their day and you made them part of your ridiculous, self-aggrandizing statement.
Tell me, again, how it's so empowering to love yourself by forcing the approval of those around you?
THEN, either the same girl from the Tumbler post put this on Twitter or someone took it and this happened:
What the actual FUCK is 'reverse rape'? Oh, ok. You cleverly spewed it in your post.
"Reverse-rape is the refusal to sexually engage w/women of the 'wrong body type' and is just as horrific as rape."
You slimy cunt.
How dare you?
I'm a big girl. I'm a big girl because I'm a lazy girl who likes over-processed foods. I also enjoy laying on my couch watching Netflix.
Know what that get's you? A big girl body.
And I like myself. I like who I am. But, I want to change some things about my physical appearance. So, I went out and got myself a Fitbit so I can monitor my exercise habits. I try to walk more and I'm trying to eat better.
But, I like me very much. My personality attracts lots of friends. I'm a very confident person and that attracted my S.O. to me. He likes the way I look. He supports me in getting healthy. He supports me when I dress nice and he loves me when I'm feeling disgusting.
But, if he didn't find big girls attractive would he still be attracted me? I don't know. Maybe he would still be attracted to my personality. That's his choice.
The point is, he's allowed to have his personal opinion on what he finds sexually attractive.
EVERYONE is allowed to BE or NOT BE attracted to whomever they want. How is this a difficult concept?
Someone being attracted to me is fine. Someone forcing them self on me because they are attracted to me when I'm not interested is NOT fine.
Someone not being attracted to me because of my physical appearance is fine. That is perfectly acceptable. I'm not sure when this became unacceptable???
I can't believe I have to clarify that for people. Why are we so open and accepting for the LGBT community to love who they want and try to punish others? This is nonsense.
And, all they (extreme SJW's) are really doing is making a mockery of real rape/sexual assault survivors and feminists. I will call you out on your bullshit and I will no longer tolerate this madness.
I saw a post on imgur that was taken from Tumbler. (Maybe-I assume so b/c that's where you usually find this nonsense) The picture showed a big girl sans clothes on a subway train with the word 'beautiful' written all over herself.
Ok, fine. I'm glad she was proud of her body. That's a great step in becoming healthy in both mind and body. Loving yourself is very healthy.
But....sweetheart, you're practically naked on a subway train. Be proud of who you are but, there is a time and place for everything. Those people are trying to get along with their day and you made them part of your ridiculous, self-aggrandizing statement.
Tell me, again, how it's so empowering to love yourself by forcing the approval of those around you?
THEN, either the same girl from the Tumbler post put this on Twitter or someone took it and this happened:
What the actual FUCK is 'reverse rape'? Oh, ok. You cleverly spewed it in your post.
"Reverse-rape is the refusal to sexually engage w/women of the 'wrong body type' and is just as horrific as rape."
You slimy cunt.
How dare you?
I'm a big girl. I'm a big girl because I'm a lazy girl who likes over-processed foods. I also enjoy laying on my couch watching Netflix.
Know what that get's you? A big girl body.
And I like myself. I like who I am. But, I want to change some things about my physical appearance. So, I went out and got myself a Fitbit so I can monitor my exercise habits. I try to walk more and I'm trying to eat better.
But, I like me very much. My personality attracts lots of friends. I'm a very confident person and that attracted my S.O. to me. He likes the way I look. He supports me in getting healthy. He supports me when I dress nice and he loves me when I'm feeling disgusting.
But, if he didn't find big girls attractive would he still be attracted me? I don't know. Maybe he would still be attracted to my personality. That's his choice.
The point is, he's allowed to have his personal opinion on what he finds sexually attractive.
EVERYONE is allowed to BE or NOT BE attracted to whomever they want. How is this a difficult concept?
Someone being attracted to me is fine. Someone forcing them self on me because they are attracted to me when I'm not interested is NOT fine.
Someone not being attracted to me because of my physical appearance is fine. That is perfectly acceptable. I'm not sure when this became unacceptable???
I can't believe I have to clarify that for people. Why are we so open and accepting for the LGBT community to love who they want and try to punish others? This is nonsense.
And, all they (extreme SJW's) are really doing is making a mockery of real rape/sexual assault survivors and feminists. I will call you out on your bullshit and I will no longer tolerate this madness.
Tuesday, June 7, 2016
I went to Reason Rally and now I won't shut up about it
I laughed, I cried, I was pissed, and I was content.
Penn Jillette introducing, and then performing with, Carolina Peña was a moving moment.
Maryam Namazie literally brought me to tears with her empowered words.
Ian Harris made me laugh with his story about how easy of a decision it was to not hit his kid.
When the main mic went out and Paul Provenza, Lawrence Krauss, and Penn Jillette told their story about being 'interviewed' by Ray Comfort and crew I may have almost fallen out of my seat from laughter.
The Rep from Hawaii, Tulsi Gabbard, calmed everyone down with her gentle words about 'aloha' and it's meaning.
But, the biggest thing I'm taking away from this experience is that I truly am an atheist and I can NOT be ashamed of that.
For years I have used the 'more polite' terms of secular humanist, agnostic, freethinker, etc. All of them are true, yes, but, as David Silvermen pointed out, all of them are 'cushion words' meant to soften the blow of the vile word 'atheist'.
We need to get over our aversion to this word. We need to stop letting it be a scary word, a curse word, a whispered word.
My main goal with becoming an atheist activist was to change the stereotype that the general populace has about us. We are not all anti-social, angry, black make-up wearing, online jerks that many think we are. (But, let's be honest, there are angry jerks out there...)
Personally, I'm so bubbly it can be annoying at times. I prefer to wear khakis as opposed to jeans. Dresses to pants. I still cry whenever I watch Love Actually. And, I LOVE talking to new people. It's one of the reasons I do so well at the Secular Hub.
And, when I call myself an atheist proudly, I believe it helps take the sting out of the word. I've had little old church ladies proclaim "But you're so nice!" when they learn I'm an atheist. That's the reaction I want. I want someone's perception thrown. I want more and more people to meet and talk with atheists and know that they are good people.
We can't do that when we hide.
Penn Jillette introducing, and then performing with, Carolina Peña was a moving moment.
Maryam Namazie literally brought me to tears with her empowered words.
Ian Harris made me laugh with his story about how easy of a decision it was to not hit his kid.
When the main mic went out and Paul Provenza, Lawrence Krauss, and Penn Jillette told their story about being 'interviewed' by Ray Comfort and crew I may have almost fallen out of my seat from laughter.
The Rep from Hawaii, Tulsi Gabbard, calmed everyone down with her gentle words about 'aloha' and it's meaning.
But, the biggest thing I'm taking away from this experience is that I truly am an atheist and I can NOT be ashamed of that.
For years I have used the 'more polite' terms of secular humanist, agnostic, freethinker, etc. All of them are true, yes, but, as David Silvermen pointed out, all of them are 'cushion words' meant to soften the blow of the vile word 'atheist'.
We need to get over our aversion to this word. We need to stop letting it be a scary word, a curse word, a whispered word.
My main goal with becoming an atheist activist was to change the stereotype that the general populace has about us. We are not all anti-social, angry, black make-up wearing, online jerks that many think we are. (But, let's be honest, there are angry jerks out there...)
Personally, I'm so bubbly it can be annoying at times. I prefer to wear khakis as opposed to jeans. Dresses to pants. I still cry whenever I watch Love Actually. And, I LOVE talking to new people. It's one of the reasons I do so well at the Secular Hub.
And, when I call myself an atheist proudly, I believe it helps take the sting out of the word. I've had little old church ladies proclaim "But you're so nice!" when they learn I'm an atheist. That's the reaction I want. I want someone's perception thrown. I want more and more people to meet and talk with atheists and know that they are good people.
We can't do that when we hide.
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