And It Starts...

Just a few days before Halloween and I've already started seeing my conservative and religious family members and friends post on their Facebook about how we "can't say Merry Christmas".

Here is the latest one:

Boo-frickin-hoo.

I actually have three issues with this picture. The first being the false statement that the U.S. is the 'largest christian nation in the world'.

When will the conservatives let this idea die the death it deserves? This country never has been nor will it ever be a 'christian nation'. And we should all be thankful of that. If a single religion was in charge of this country it would be a disaster; a travesty; a blood bath. Even the Christians cannot agree on what version of Christianity is correct.

There is a reason we, as a country, do not and should not try to establish a single endorsed religion. It's the same reason our ancestors came over here in the first place. Idiots.

My second issue is that saying 'Happy Holidays' over 'Marry Christmas' is in no way an evil method of the secular people to destroy your religious ceremonies. Your stolen pagan ceremonies....

I worked in retail throughout my high school and college career and then some. Around the HOLIDAYS (including Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, and now Kwanzaa, as well as New Years) I started wishing EVERYONE a happy holiday because I didn't have the time or patience to ask everyone their personal preferences on how they spend their winter months.

I imagine it would be the same for me to say "Have a nice day!" to someone leaving the store and they getting upset with me because they have to go put their dog down. How in the hell was I supposed to know that? Do I just say "Ok. Leave now. I have your money. Get out!" ?

'Happy Holidays', like 'have a nice day', is a general greeting/goodbye within the retail world. It's the least offensive thing I can possibly say to someone. To become offended because I didn't say exactly the thing that would most comfort you, is not my problem. It's yours. Our society has become so 'trigger-happy'. Your emotions are your own. It's not my responsibility to coddle your feelings.

To help those out who may not get this concept I have listed a handy chart of responses to daily encounters during the HOLIDAYS:

They say-- You say

Have a nice day!-- Thanks, you too!
Merry Christmas!-- Thanks, you too!
Happy Hanukkah!--Thanks, you too!
Happy Holidays!-- Thanks, you too!
Happy Kwanzaa!-- Thanks, you too!
Happy Solstice!-- Thanks, you too!
Happy New Year!-- Thanks, you too!
God Bless You!-- Thanks, you too!
Convert to Satanism!-- NOT TODAY, SATAN!
                                                  HA! Just kidding. The answer, of course, is: YES, MASTER...


You see? It's easy. Anyone can do it. Just use that good ol' American passive response etiquette we all use every day.  Have a Happy Holiday!

Oh, right, the third issue with the picture. WHY THE HELL ARE THEY CAPITALIZING EVERY OTHER RANDOM WORD?!?!

Being the liberal daughter

A few years ago my father hosted a party at his home in southern Louisiana. It was a rare occasion where all of his daughters were in town at once, so he decided to celebrate the only way good southerners know how. Bonfire, beer, crawfish, music, beer, laughter, and, oh yeah, beer.

By about four-ish my father was already happily wasted and telling stories of when his daughters were babies.

However, when he got to me, his youngest daughter, it wasn't a story about when I would hide his boots so he couldn't leave for work, or that time I got into the fridge and threw eggs all over the kitchen. (HA! That's a funny one...) No, no. For me, my father had something special.

"Here's my Ru, my baby! NO ONE TELL ANY RACIST JOKES AROUND HER! She doesn't like it... She's my 'liberal daughter'!"

I was mortified at first. Really, daddy? My sisters get cutesy stories about toddler shenanigans and I get a lecture on how I'm PC?

Not too long later I was dating a jerk of a guy who also would describe me to his friends as the 'girl who doesn't like jokes that make fun of people'. (OK, I may have cleaned up his language...I curse like a sailor but there are certain words that ladies just don't say) Again, I didn't like being singled out as 'that girl'. The girl that was different. The girl that was so PC she was brainless.

It took a while but, I'm happy my father and others see me this way. I proud that I'm known for not being the one to tolerate hurtful jokes and stories.

Can I take a joke? Of course.

Have I laughed at a good, tasteful, religious joke? Hell yes.

Have I made jokes about eating babies as an atheist? You betch'ya.

But, it's kinda different in the south where they regularly make jokes at the expense of others. And, not just jokes. These people make jokes/snide comments/assumptions about anyone different.

And, no, I'm not just talking about old white guys. Everyone down there does. Black, Latino, White, Asian. If you're not one of them....you don't mix. Interracial couples are still pretty taboo down there.

But, at least in a few circles,  I'm known as the girl that will ask you to explain that racist joke you just drunkenly uttered. I'm the one who will remind you that rape isn't funny. Sure, I'll be that girl.

But, I'm also the one that will remind you that I'm OK with making a sandwich as long as you get off your ass and fix the damn car. Because I'm the liberal, voting, democrat, atheist you were warned about but, not the raging feminist that gets triggered at everything.