Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Game Show Orphans

A game show in Pakistan, Amaan Ramazan, has begun giving away orphaned girls as prizes. Infant girls....game show prizes....

Let's let that sink in.

I'm actually conflicted by this concept. On one hand there is a child that has been taken off the street and placed into a home. However, this is a girl that will be raised in a home where the parents may not have known they were going to be given a child. Not to mention that this is a girl that will now be raised in a religiously strict environment where women are not always seen as equals. 

The producers of the show have stated that the contestant couples are screened and vetted repeatedly before being allowed to take their prize home.

I just hope the attitude toward games shows is true; that they are rigged. Perhaps some of these couples really want to have a child.

The Mirror reports:
"The babies used were presented by the Chhipa Welfare Association, a charity which rescues abandoned babies. Its organiser Muhammad Ramzan Chhipa explained: “We have lots of babies that are just abandoned, left in the garbage or other dirty places. Often we just find the bodies so our message is to tell people to bring their babies to us, don’t leave them.”
He said the show’s lucky couples had previously approached his organisation to adopt children, although he did not discuss how they were vetted."

The full article can be found here: 


One report stated that children who are abandoned in Pakistan will either die from starvation or the elements, be attacked or killed by wild animals. They can also grow up as street children that are easily recruited by terrorists to become suicide bombers.

So, what will it be? Killed by wild dogs, street urchin who my or may not become a violent radical or grow up in a home where women are severely repressed, beaten and/or, in some fun instances,  married at the age of 10 to a man in his 60s?? 

The middle east is no place for women and girls. This game show keeps the babies safe from nature but not from the dangers of the local culture.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Colorado Secular Conference

This past Saturday I was a part of my state's second annual secular conference. I had been on the planning committee for the last 3 months. The conference committee met once a week, sent hundreds of e-mails, argued about fliers, posters and ad space and almost lost a few friends over this conference. I personally have decided not to serve on another committee with one person in particular.... But that's besides the point.

WE DID IT!!

The location was spacious but blazing hot due to an a/c malfunction. The speakers were awesome- even though there were a few bail-outs and emergencies. The turn out was descent. Most things went off without a hitch. I'm really proud of myself for not only being a part of the planning and execution of such an event but also being one of the speakers. I may have just been on  a panel discussion about the secular community of Denver but, I'm still proud of not fainting off the stage...

Our speakers included Sean Faircloth of the Richard Dawkins Foundation, Betsy Weatherhead who is a local scientist who shared in the Nobel Peace Price for her work on climate change, Seth Andrews who created The Thinking Atheist blog, Becky Hale the president of the American Humanist Association and many local secular group leaders like myself.

Our keynote speaker, Katherine Stewart, had to pull out of the conference last minute due to a medical emergency. It cause a small moment of panic but I think we came out of the whole day beautifully.

Katherine's talk was to be about the Good News Club. GNC is a religious after-school program that  has a history of overstepping its boundaries in public schools. Let's be clear: secular people are not upset that these groups exist. Religious programs have the same, if not more, rights to be allowed as after-school programs as other groups. It's the fact that this group will intentionally blur the lines between what they are teaching the children and what the PUBLIC SCHOOL is teaching. Elementary school children are becoming confused as to what is being taught by the teacher and what is being taught by the program. It's causing them to turn on their fellow students and cause problems. This is what secular people have problems with.

And, yes, this group has MORE rights than soccer, arts, and debate after-school programs. Because they felt they needed to sue the school board and create a law for themselves any school can determine that a debate team is too much while they cannot block a religious group. So I don't want to hear about how religion is 'under attack' in this country.... It's clearly the dominant position of all aspects of America. It sucks.  

Anyway..... I'm thrilled to have been part of this conference and I hope to be a speaker at more conferences one day. =)

Thursday, July 18, 2013

How Rude

This isn't necessarily about being an atheist but more about being a southerner while dealing with a fast paced northern society. 

My mother, father and grandparents taught me the importance of being polite and courteous.  I say 'I'm sorry' like a Canadian pro. My elders are always to be respected, please and thank you are used both automatically and sincerely and table manners are a strict business.

My job consists of me having to call all over the country, on behalf of our clients, to gather pricing information on equipment, health care services, surgery costs and any other random thing a person may need after an injury. Many of our clients happen to live in Michigan.

There is no state in our country that I loathe less than Michigan.  While having an amazing no-fault health care policy and having a good structure for supporting their elderly, disabled and youth, I have never worked with such an unorganized, unprofessional and downright rude group of people.

 If you ever need to request your health records from the University of Michigan Hospital- good luck. They are currently 2-4 weeks behind. Children's Hospital? Try 2-3 months. While I write this I am currently on hold with UofM billing department. I have been on hold for 20 minutes. Once I get someone on the phone I plan on being either told this is the wrong department, having someone attempt to transfer me to the 'correct' department and eventually have their line hang up on me.

However, this can be true for any call center style office. I, myself, have worked for I.T. call centers where the hold time would reach 45 minutes. The difference? By the time I answered the phone I was full of apologies, helpful information and either a solution or I would stay on the phone until I found someone to answer the question.

Phone skills are such a useful thing to utilize to not leave a bad taste in the mouths of your consumers.

I find myself constantly saying 'I'm sorry', watching my surroundings to make sure I'm not intruding on anyone and trying my best to be personable and respectful of anyone/everyone around me. It actually annoys me to see other people be rude- even when I am in no way involved.

When I walk/drive around Denver I find it amazing how often I get cut off,  flicked off, pushed and almost run over. I promise I'm not an old lady. I've mastered the art of dodging through  high school hallways and malls in the middle of Christmas rush-I've worked in many malls. I've driven in rush hour traffic, major cities, 8-lane highways and even in other countries that drive on the left side of the road. I know how to move. Apparently, I don't have the attitude. 

Like the other night at the Lutheran Church, I get talked over, interrupted and ignored daily. On the phone, in person....it happens everywhere.

The more I think about this I wonder if it a southern vs northern thing or...because I'm a woman. And not an exceedingly pretty one, at that. 

A few years ago, while working for a big blue box of an electronic store, I did a small social experiment. I worked in their computer sales department. I would sell computers, printers, tablets, mp3s, cameras and car stereos. I started to wonder if my sales would change depending on my looks. I started doing my make-up heavier, put more time into my hair by making it fuller,  did not wear my glasses and wore more jewelry. I did this for a week. The following week I put my hair in a ponytail, wore my thicker/darker glasses, toned down the make-up and wore a belt that had studs.

I got more sales when I had my glasses on but had longer conversations with the preppier look. I also got hit on a lot.

I had the same sales pitch. I knew the same knowledge. I spoke the same way. But, because I looked like I knew things, the 'geeky' me made more sales. I tried to give this information to my boss but he didn't really care. As long as I was making my goals he was happy.

Bringing this all back to being a southern atheist: it always amuses me when someone meets me and talks to me for a while. They take in my southern accent, my preppy clothes and my warm nature and they become so shocked when I state that I do not believe in a higher power. Like the woman the other night: "But, you're so nice!"

There are rude an sweet people all over the place. There are angry and happy people in religion and out. Stereotypes is one of the major themes in my life. I want to prove to people that you can't always judge an atheist by their accent.  

Monday, July 15, 2013

Forgot how to be a woman in church....

Last Friday I was invited to a church to listen to a presentation on creationism. I had just recently attended a lecture on evolution so I thought it would be neat to listen to the opposing view- if for nothing more than pure curiosity.

The lecture was held at a Lutheran church- one part of the christian religion where I had not previously visited- and lead by a nuclear chemists by the name of Dr. Wile. Dr. Wile was a funny and captivating lecturer, however, nothing that he said seemed like enough evidence to turn away from evolution.

He showed some research that showed how radioactive half-lives correspond with the sun.  Interesting. He stated that this bit of scientific research caused him to come to the conclusion that science still hasn't fully come to an understanding of radioactive decay. Fair enough. But because of this he rejected evolution and turned to creationism 'kicking and screaming'...

If science doesn't understand fully how this decay works why would you immediately turn to something that states 'because God, that's why'? It seems like a cop out.

After the discussion I ended up in a conversation with another atheist and an aspiring apologetic. I've met this apologetic on numerous occasions and during this conversation with him I came to two  conclusions: 1) I do not care for this man and 2) I totally forgot how to be a good girl in church.

I have met this man at least 3 times before this conversation and he still refuses to learn my name, pretend that he has ever seen me or have a direct discussion with me. When speaking with me and the other atheist (male) he would direct all of his comments towards him and only acknowledge me in a condescending manner. The few times I tried to speak I was cut off, talked over or completely ignored.

My bad...women are to remain silent in church. Why would this rule be any different for an atheist woman?

The funny part of this night was when a woman who had been sitting next to me learned that I was an atheist. "But you're so nice!" I love that reaction. It's why I go into churches still. I want to try to change the stereotype people have of atheists. Because I happen to have a southern accent, am white and tend to dress kinda 'preppy' people don't seem to think of me as atheist. Once they do learn of my heathenism, I can see them trying to make my appearance fit their idea of what I should look like. Their look of befuddlement makes me giggle inside.

Friday, July 5, 2013

Struggle between pride and want

I'm not sure if it's a southern, girl or religious thing that has been bothering me lately. Perhaps it's a mixture of all three?

My boyfriend and I were talking about marriage again. (I feel bad for the guy) But it wasn't just the idea of marriage but the concept of the actual ceremony.

One of my sisters once explained the marriage traditional ceremony to me in a fantastic way. She said that once you meet someone you are proud of and with whom you want to spend the rest of your life you want to show them to your entire family. You want them to show you to their entire family. If you want to bring someone into your family you need to do it correctly and respectfully. You're bringing someone to be a part of us. You want everyone to know about one another. A wedding will bring everyone together. It's a chance to truly unite two families.

I ALWAYS knew I would not be bringing someone home of whom they would approve.

I have one of those southern families that actually cares about what the neighbors will think. They would have approved of the elder's son. Sort of. (He got a little dark after high school) I assume they would have approved of one or two of the boyfriends I brought home. Maybe. Not the ones I was serious about though.

My mother recently told me that she wants everything to be perfect for me and she wants only the best. I'm sure this is what most parents want for their children. But, I wonder whose 'perfect' and 'best' they want for us?

In my family, once you do something out of the ordinary, everything changes a bit. I have an aunt that will just...cut you out of her life. I say, frequently, that I don't care for her anyway. But, before I was happy to have her out of my life I was hurt that she would speak to me like a stranger. It hurts to have her acknowledge both of my sisters, praise their accomplishments and just ignore me.  It was if I could feel her contempt for me radiating off her skin. I figured if she doesn't like me for my values than she has some very messed up values of her own.

Part of me loves the idea of being married. I don't want to be in my forties and alone. Part of me is petrified that it will end poorly. Divorce sucks. Another small part of me is worried that my family will not support my decision in a partner. Whether I end up marrying my current boyfriend or not I'm almost positive my family will disapprove of my choice in potential husband. He wouldn't be Christian, southern or even of my own race. *GASP*

A HUGE part of most everything I do is fueled by my desire to make my family proud of me. It's a constant struggle between wanting them to approve and wanting to do what makes me happy. Sometimes I wish they were the same thing.