I've lived in Denver for four years now. I frequently come up against clashes in culture between what I know and what the locals know. For example, the local weather report recently said that the day was starting out 'warm' at 29 degrees. My poor Floridian heart broke. It's been a long time since I wore flip-flops. I still think of socks as feet prisons.
But, with the release of Sue Klebold's new memoir about her son and his involvement with the Columbine High School shooting, I keep thinking about what I knew about that tragedy is far different than what the locals knew about it.
I've used my high school experience as a testament to how I was shaped by tragedy and the necessity for understanding different cultures, mental illness, and empathy for my fellow humans. My high school career started with the Columbine shooting during my freshman year and the horrific day of September 11th happening in my senior year. I always thought that because of these tragedies punctuating such an important time in my life that I should be more knowledgeable and sensitive to them.
Then, I moved to Colorado.
The city's knowledge of the events that April morning in 1999 are very much different than what I remember happening in a classroom just outside of Tampa, Florida. I remember being scared and confused about what was happening. I remember thinking that bad men must have attacked the school. I remember thinking that something like that would never happen at my school. No one at my school felt that angry. Obviously. (I was pretty naive)
We watched the news coverage in my social studies class. We went home to our parents and asked questions they didn't know how to answer. But, after a few weeks...it mostly faded. As a student involved with extracurricular activities, life just had to move on. This tragedy was sad...but VERY far away.
This city lived it. This was their backyard- their schoolhouse. Someplace that was supposed to be safe. They watched their children, their friends, their brothers, sisters, grandchildren, coworkers kids, etc, scramble for their lives through an army of SWAT teams and police tape. They learned the horror of having teenagers be the responsible parties. They questioned their neighbors ability to raise children. After all, these boy's parents weren't paying attention, how do you know who else is? There was more than a sense of shock, I'm sure. There was a sense of shock, awe, betrayal, disbelief, and a deep deep sorrow. Their city will never be the same.
After I moved to Denver, I started meeting more and more people who had been touched by the tragedy. A coworker who had a cousin at the school during the shooting, a boyfriend who once attended the school, a friend who lost a friend, an acquaintance who knew the shooters.
To them, this wasn't just a media sensation. This WAS their life. This was their community. This was something they all went through together. It's something they still work through, as a city. It's a tarnished spot on their history that they wear. Not with sorrow, but, not with pride. They wear it as a reminder. A reminder of what could happen. What could happen when we don't listen. What could happen when we stop caring about each other.
Is this city warm fuzzies and rainbows? Of course not. But, I can tell you that this city is a tight knit one. They won the Super Bowl and a million people showed up to celebrate. No real issues (save for a traffic nightmare). This city is relaxed, they are friendly...they don't particularly care for all the new people who have moved here after the legalization of marijuana but, they are willing to tolerate you.
The thing is, from what I've seen with news reports and stories, they do not tolerate bullying. When something happens at a school they take no chances. Lock-downs happen. Sensitivity training happens. All inclusiveness happens. Respect Life is a frequent motto that I see around the city. It's on license plates, billboards, and painted on the side of walls.
I can imagine that many locals would rather Columbine NOT be the first image that outsiders think about when they think of Denver. But, it's there. When the theater shooting happened in Aurora a year after I moved here, I got phone calls from my mom and sisters at 5am asking if I was OK. They immediately thought of Columbine. They told me that the city was dangerous. I'll admit to being nervous for a while.
Personally, I now think of Denver as a beautiful, mountain flanked, friendly city with so much to offer. I think of it as my home now. (Guess I'll have to get more used to socks)
This is going to sound awful, but, I wish more cities had something like this that would rock them to their core. I don't want cities to have tragedies. I just wish that more had a unifying experience- something larger than a Super Bowl win. Something that would bring them together to work as one.
Unfortunately, I see tragedies that bring a city or country together.....to hate another group (Thinking of 9/11). Or, they wallow in their suffering and never quite move past it (Looking at you, NOLA- Katrina was awful but we need to move on now).
Colorado has taken the tragedy and learned from it. That is truly inspiring. I hope to one day be able to call myself Coloradoan and be worthy of the title. Until then.....freaking socks.....
