So, this week is Thanksgiving and I will be going home to Louisiana for a traditional celebration with family.
Last year I was not able to go home or visit family at all so I hosted a traditional dinner at the Secular Hub. It was such a success we decided to make it a tradition at the center. This year, since I am able to go home, I won't be hosting. I did, however, have a hand in the planning of the event.
I was able to find a few people who are willing to host the dinner for 20 something people. Turkey has been purchased, ham has been ordered, attendees have been given their food assignments. It's going to be a great day at the Secular Hub.
However, last week the Hub MeetUp message board received a message from a new member asking us about the event. They wanted to know if we were going to be hosting an inclusive 'day of mourning' in lieu of the traditional feast. They went on to explain that the day of mourning was to be a protest of the traditional Thanksgiving celebration and commemorate the atrocities of the Native American people at the hands of the white pilgrims.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?
Okay, I get it. We need to remember that the Europeans came here and massacred the Native Americans. They deceived and stole from them. The Native Americans got a raw deal and continue to have hardships from this. I get it. We all get it.
There is no way in fictional hell that we are now going to have a fasting, march to a memorial place, and mourn the shameful acts of others. No.
Just..... No...... (basic white girl moment) Seriously, I can't even.
It's moments like these that remind me that I am, actually, from the south. The land of, "Fuck that. Go cry somewhere else."
I HATE this nonsense. I feel like if I disagree with this person's suggestion of a day of mourning it makes me into a bad progressive. Same as when I disagree with a feminist's idea that it's wrong for a woman to choose to be a stay-at-home mom, it makes me feel like a bad feminist.
The spirit of Thanksgiving was to be a coming together of different cultures to break bread and be mindful of community and what you have. That's what it's all about now. It's one of those special times of year (and sometimes only time) that people are able to come together to be with their friends and/or family. Personally, I only get to see my father maybe once a year. This is that one time for us. I'm going to celebrate it.
Did the pilgrims do a terrible thing against the Native Americans? Yes. Should we remember the past so that we don't repeat it? Absolutely! Am I going to feel shame for the rest of my life for something my ancestors did? Hell no. And how dare you try to make others feel bad for being happy about the holiday.
Thanksgiving is about stuffing your face, watching football, seeing your family, ducking questions about your future marital plans, and figuring out your game plan for Black Friday.
Go be mournful somewhere else. I'm too stoked about turkey to have you be a damn wet-blanket.
Monday, November 23, 2015
Monday, November 2, 2015
Why are you so obsessed with me?
An Arkansas pastor has gained media coverage for something asinine that he said. (big shock) His sermon on Sunday morning revolved around something called 'theological dualism'. A claim that the soul and the body are separated. This allows for religious people to go to church on Sunday and purify their soul but their body is an earthly thing and it does not matter what they do to it.
He referred to 1 Corinthians 6. This chapter says that our bodies are temples and God owns us. He shamed people for overeating, abortion, and pornography. Somehow, doing things like this is 'offending our body'.
He then said that women do not have the right to their own body. He never said that men do not have the right to their body. Sure, it was implied that no one owned their own bodies but, he only deemed it necessary to specifically say that women had no claim to their own body.
Here is the story from Raw Story with a clip of the pastor:
http://www.rawstory.com/2015/11/arizona-pastor-if-a-woman-thinks-she-has-the-right-over-her-own-body-no-thats-not-true/
Why do so many church leaders seem to make sure women know they are less important?
When I was 19 I got a tattoo. It's small and I can hide it easily. Just a simple ankh and a number. Like many people, my tattoo is meaningful to me. I'm proud of it. It's on my foot and kinda ugly but it wasn't meant to be a work of art. I love it.
When I got it I was still hanging on to my religion. Hanging on by a thread but, still, I went to church every week.
The first Sunday after I got my tattoo I went to my church's morning services. I remember a deacon (kind of like an elder but on a lower rung) came over to me to say 'good morning'. He had a son about my age so he felt he had an 'in' with the youths. He looked down at my foot and saw my new ink.
I distinctly remember him telling me that the bible says that our bodies are not ours and that making marks on it is forbidden. He didn't yell at me. He wasn't overtly angry. He sounded disappointed in me. And, for an instant, I was ashamed.
I think back to it every now and then and I'm sad that I didn't say something prolific. I'm annoyed at myself for, once again, being silent in church. I'm disgusted that I was intimidated by the deacon. But, I was a girl. In this church, and many others, it's the men's duty to make sure we stay in line. I deserved that talking to, apparently.
What was I supposed to say? "Some guy assaulted me a year ago and this tattoo was to remind me that I'm, once again, in control of my own life and body"? Maybe. That would have knocked the deacon back for a second. But, I bet I can think of how he would have responded. Something about god testing me. Maybe something about how I was assaulted because I wasn't acting like a christian in the first place. Or, two wrongs...something something something.
The important thing I learned from that experience is that women in the church are always being reminded that our bodies are not ours, we have no choice in anything, and we can do nothing about it.
I became a more empowered woman when I left the church. I became a better, nicer, more loving person when I left religion. I'm still saddened when I see so many women flocking and clinging to their religion. A religion that doesn't respect, empower, or give authority to them.
I won't take away anyone's religion. I can never do that. But, I can be disappointed in it. And, I'll be there for those who choose to leave it behind.
He referred to 1 Corinthians 6. This chapter says that our bodies are temples and God owns us. He shamed people for overeating, abortion, and pornography. Somehow, doing things like this is 'offending our body'.
He then said that women do not have the right to their own body. He never said that men do not have the right to their body. Sure, it was implied that no one owned their own bodies but, he only deemed it necessary to specifically say that women had no claim to their own body.
Here is the story from Raw Story with a clip of the pastor:
http://www.rawstory.com/2015/11/arizona-pastor-if-a-woman-thinks-she-has-the-right-over-her-own-body-no-thats-not-true/
Why do so many church leaders seem to make sure women know they are less important?
When I was 19 I got a tattoo. It's small and I can hide it easily. Just a simple ankh and a number. Like many people, my tattoo is meaningful to me. I'm proud of it. It's on my foot and kinda ugly but it wasn't meant to be a work of art. I love it.
When I got it I was still hanging on to my religion. Hanging on by a thread but, still, I went to church every week.
The first Sunday after I got my tattoo I went to my church's morning services. I remember a deacon (kind of like an elder but on a lower rung) came over to me to say 'good morning'. He had a son about my age so he felt he had an 'in' with the youths. He looked down at my foot and saw my new ink.
I distinctly remember him telling me that the bible says that our bodies are not ours and that making marks on it is forbidden. He didn't yell at me. He wasn't overtly angry. He sounded disappointed in me. And, for an instant, I was ashamed.
I think back to it every now and then and I'm sad that I didn't say something prolific. I'm annoyed at myself for, once again, being silent in church. I'm disgusted that I was intimidated by the deacon. But, I was a girl. In this church, and many others, it's the men's duty to make sure we stay in line. I deserved that talking to, apparently.
What was I supposed to say? "Some guy assaulted me a year ago and this tattoo was to remind me that I'm, once again, in control of my own life and body"? Maybe. That would have knocked the deacon back for a second. But, I bet I can think of how he would have responded. Something about god testing me. Maybe something about how I was assaulted because I wasn't acting like a christian in the first place. Or, two wrongs...something something something.
The important thing I learned from that experience is that women in the church are always being reminded that our bodies are not ours, we have no choice in anything, and we can do nothing about it.
I became a more empowered woman when I left the church. I became a better, nicer, more loving person when I left religion. I'm still saddened when I see so many women flocking and clinging to their religion. A religion that doesn't respect, empower, or give authority to them.
I won't take away anyone's religion. I can never do that. But, I can be disappointed in it. And, I'll be there for those who choose to leave it behind.
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