This past weekend I was honored to be able to speak at the Secular Student Alliance leadership conference in Phoenix, AZ. I was excited for the opportunity to give back to the foundation that helped me and my group out so much in college. My secular group in college may have trickled out some but when I ran it it was a fun and well-known group on campus-- at least I like to think of it that way.
The SSA is a great resource for college and high school aged kids who are wanting to start and run a successful group. They send materials, are there with an answer to a legal question, will send someone to your area to help with tabling, presentations, and demonstrations. They even set up a nation-wide speakers bureau and will give assistance to groups wanting to bring a bigger name to their campus.
Having a group in southern Louisiana was a bit of a challenge for me but with the SSA's help and support I feel that we were pretty successful. As long as there are group members willing to keep the group going once the leaders move on the group will survive.
I was asked to give a presentation on social media. At first I was excited because social media is a big part of my everyday life. But, honestly, what could I teach college age students about social media that they don't already know?? They could pull me into the audience and teach me things about Twitter and Snapchat that I'd never heard of, I'm sure. But, I wasn't there to teach them how to use the tools- just how to utilize them to their maximum potential. (God that sounded 'teachy')
You know how you plan for weeks what you are going to talk about? You write out an outline, take notes, practice for hours? I did all that. I got to the podium and totally forgot about half of what I wanted to say. It happens. Was it my best speaking gig? Nope. Did I get my point across? I think so.
As my boyfriend said, "if they didn't run screaming then everything was fine."
I was able to put faces and personalities to people with whom I had spoken online for years. I was about to answer questions of students about running a group and what to do afterward. I was able to network on my own. All around, it was a good experience and I'd be happy to do it again.
Maybe not in Phoenix where it was 106 degrees at 8pm and I burned my feet on the ground while wearing shoes but, yeah, I'd do it again.
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Friday, June 13, 2014
Say Something...ANYTHING
The song 'Say Something" by A Great Big World has struck a chord with me. Perhaps if I were ending a relationship or going through something terrible it would make me cry. The video for it sure made me shed a tear. (The elderly couple-- I mean come on!) But, what this song made me think of is how I initially felt when I was coming to terms with my atheism.
I feel as if this song closely represents how I was thinking when I was just about to let go. I WANTED God to say something. I wanted there to be an eternal reward for me and my loved ones. I wanted there to be justice for all the wrong doings that laws of man could not provide. It broke my heart to know that the thing that was supposed to be protecting me my entire life was not really there.
I'm not sure if people who have been secular their entire life can understand this. Initially, I felt alone. I felt guilty. I felt scared, confused, and bamboozled. I'd been lied to my whole life. I felt as if by turning away from religion I was turning my back on my entire life. I felt scared because...what was I going to do now? What does one do when they find out their entire thought process was based on someone else's opinion?
That's why this song touched me. Not because I was loosing a boy but because I was losing a relationship with my life.
I've worked hard to overcome the initial feelings I had. I'm still overcoming many of them. It has been a long and ongoing process for me. I feel that, with my new friends and community, I'm making great strides on becoming the person I should have been all along.
I feel as if this song closely represents how I was thinking when I was just about to let go. I WANTED God to say something. I wanted there to be an eternal reward for me and my loved ones. I wanted there to be justice for all the wrong doings that laws of man could not provide. It broke my heart to know that the thing that was supposed to be protecting me my entire life was not really there.
I'm not sure if people who have been secular their entire life can understand this. Initially, I felt alone. I felt guilty. I felt scared, confused, and bamboozled. I'd been lied to my whole life. I felt as if by turning away from religion I was turning my back on my entire life. I felt scared because...what was I going to do now? What does one do when they find out their entire thought process was based on someone else's opinion?
That's why this song touched me. Not because I was loosing a boy but because I was losing a relationship with my life.
I've worked hard to overcome the initial feelings I had. I'm still overcoming many of them. It has been a long and ongoing process for me. I feel that, with my new friends and community, I'm making great strides on becoming the person I should have been all along.
Less of an American
I'm really tired of being made to feel like less of an American due to my lack of belief.
No, there wasn't some new media-grabbing news that made me feel this way that is compelling me to write this post. It's the overwhelming stream of consciousness I get from my southern friends and family via social media.
Moving 2,000 miles away from everyone made it easier for me to live everyday life as an open atheist. Social media tends to bring me home in a philosophical way. I am constantly bombarded with images of Jesus on a cross, scripture, and political agendas about how school shootings happen b/c God isn't allowed in schools anymore. Ugh!
Growing up, atheists were the scary people who were just outside of civilized society. These were the ones with no morals, bad attitudes, and a general disrespect for authority and American in general.
After all, God is the highest authority and America was blessed by God so...it's a Christian nation for sure. To be against God is to be unAmerican.
I love my country. I've traveled outside of it and have learned that America may not be the best at a great many things but, when I came home, I was never more happy to be back. I had many friends in college who were so eager to leave the US for England. They couldn't wait to graduate and leave. This country has it's problems but I want to be one of the few that stays because I want to help fix it.
I vote in EVERY election. I pay my taxes. I buy American when possible. I volunteer time and money to social causes. I eat apple pie. I obey the speed limit- mostly. Hell, I've even watched football on occasion.
This is NOT A CHRISTIAN COUNTRY. You can read it anywhere. Our founding fathers said as much. I'm sick and tired of being called unAmerican because I happen to not believe in your particular fairy tale.
Rant over.
No, there wasn't some new media-grabbing news that made me feel this way that is compelling me to write this post. It's the overwhelming stream of consciousness I get from my southern friends and family via social media.
Moving 2,000 miles away from everyone made it easier for me to live everyday life as an open atheist. Social media tends to bring me home in a philosophical way. I am constantly bombarded with images of Jesus on a cross, scripture, and political agendas about how school shootings happen b/c God isn't allowed in schools anymore. Ugh!
Growing up, atheists were the scary people who were just outside of civilized society. These were the ones with no morals, bad attitudes, and a general disrespect for authority and American in general.
After all, God is the highest authority and America was blessed by God so...it's a Christian nation for sure. To be against God is to be unAmerican.
I love my country. I've traveled outside of it and have learned that America may not be the best at a great many things but, when I came home, I was never more happy to be back. I had many friends in college who were so eager to leave the US for England. They couldn't wait to graduate and leave. This country has it's problems but I want to be one of the few that stays because I want to help fix it.
I vote in EVERY election. I pay my taxes. I buy American when possible. I volunteer time and money to social causes. I eat apple pie. I obey the speed limit- mostly. Hell, I've even watched football on occasion.
This is NOT A CHRISTIAN COUNTRY. You can read it anywhere. Our founding fathers said as much. I'm sick and tired of being called unAmerican because I happen to not believe in your particular fairy tale.
Rant over.
Women in Secularism Conference
I few weeks ago I was privileged enough to be able to attend the 3rd annual Women in Secularism Conference in DC. The list of speakers was awesome (as they were last year).
The conference seemed to have a bit more of a theme this year than they last one I attended. They focused a bit more on online feminism. Many of the speakers spoke of their own experiences with negativity while being a blogger/vlogger/writer. I knew trolls were out there but I never thought that women online were attacked in such hurtful ways so frequently.
Women being called bitches, being threatened with rape and violence, and, of course, the general all-American name calling based on physical features. It's amazing that when someone is upset with another person we attack each other with verbal assaults based on weight/face shape/clothes/etc. I can only imagine that when someone stoops that low they must not be very intelligent. Thus, not worth the effort.
'Not worth the effort' is the philosophy many of the speakers carried with them through their travels via the interwebs. Luckily, I have not personally encountered any vicious comments. I hope that I can react with the same grace and poise these women seemed to have. Or just weep silently in the shower.
Besides the troll conversations there was plenty to learn from these women. Many seemed to have wisdom and fearlessness beyond any Canadian lumberjack. Their confidence on stage and in person was like a breath of fresh air to me. It gave me hope about my role as a leader in my Denver community.
Even tough I didn't feel as if I meshed well with the 'cool feminist atheists', I did feel an overall sense of comradery with the conference as a whole. The main purpose of the conference is to give women a chance to learn about all the wonderful things women are capable of- not just in the world but within the secular world. "Boy's club" is the term mostly given to atheism. Women are there but we are few and far between. Leader women are even harder to find. But at a conference such as this, it was oozing confidence, leadership, and focus.
One of the speakers, Amy Davis Roth, mentioned that she wanted to start a women's secular group in her community in Los Angeles. I can only wish her good things. The endeavor of having a women only secular group here in Denver proved difficult. It was appalling to find out how many people opposed such a thing. While the women's conference is open to anyone who wishes to go I feel that, within smaller communities, women may feel more comfortable with only other women. I know. I know. 'It hinders women from becoming leaders and omits men who want to help with the issues we face." Our own women's group here in Denver is women only due to a vote among the women. We partner with Denver Atheists (men and women) on some occasions to do just that. I'm all for equality within the secular community but we're not quite there yet. Many women are coming out of an oppressive religion and our voices tend to be drowned out. I feel that a women's group is a stepping stone in the path toward stronger secular women.
Growing up in a southern church I was more used to seeing women silently standing behind their husbands or tucked away in the church kitchen. They were never center stage in the pulpit. Even in women's church groups it was seen as more of a secret meeting were we were all quietly listening to the one women in charge- usually appointed by a man. In these meetings we were taught how to be good wives and nurturers. We were taught to remain pure and how to listen to our husbands. We learned how to be good women of Christ- ones who never caused a fuss and were the keepers of the household.
I hated those meetings.
With the CFI adding the Women's Conference to their mix I believe it has given women a place to be able to be more outspoken, to be able to find other powerful women, and to learn that it is A-OK to have a strong, full voice in the secular world, their own secular community, and the world. I'm glad I went and I can't wait for next year!
The conference seemed to have a bit more of a theme this year than they last one I attended. They focused a bit more on online feminism. Many of the speakers spoke of their own experiences with negativity while being a blogger/vlogger/writer. I knew trolls were out there but I never thought that women online were attacked in such hurtful ways so frequently.
Women being called bitches, being threatened with rape and violence, and, of course, the general all-American name calling based on physical features. It's amazing that when someone is upset with another person we attack each other with verbal assaults based on weight/face shape/clothes/etc. I can only imagine that when someone stoops that low they must not be very intelligent. Thus, not worth the effort.
'Not worth the effort' is the philosophy many of the speakers carried with them through their travels via the interwebs. Luckily, I have not personally encountered any vicious comments. I hope that I can react with the same grace and poise these women seemed to have. Or just weep silently in the shower.
Besides the troll conversations there was plenty to learn from these women. Many seemed to have wisdom and fearlessness beyond any Canadian lumberjack. Their confidence on stage and in person was like a breath of fresh air to me. It gave me hope about my role as a leader in my Denver community.
Even tough I didn't feel as if I meshed well with the 'cool feminist atheists', I did feel an overall sense of comradery with the conference as a whole. The main purpose of the conference is to give women a chance to learn about all the wonderful things women are capable of- not just in the world but within the secular world. "Boy's club" is the term mostly given to atheism. Women are there but we are few and far between. Leader women are even harder to find. But at a conference such as this, it was oozing confidence, leadership, and focus.
One of the speakers, Amy Davis Roth, mentioned that she wanted to start a women's secular group in her community in Los Angeles. I can only wish her good things. The endeavor of having a women only secular group here in Denver proved difficult. It was appalling to find out how many people opposed such a thing. While the women's conference is open to anyone who wishes to go I feel that, within smaller communities, women may feel more comfortable with only other women. I know. I know. 'It hinders women from becoming leaders and omits men who want to help with the issues we face." Our own women's group here in Denver is women only due to a vote among the women. We partner with Denver Atheists (men and women) on some occasions to do just that. I'm all for equality within the secular community but we're not quite there yet. Many women are coming out of an oppressive religion and our voices tend to be drowned out. I feel that a women's group is a stepping stone in the path toward stronger secular women.
Growing up in a southern church I was more used to seeing women silently standing behind their husbands or tucked away in the church kitchen. They were never center stage in the pulpit. Even in women's church groups it was seen as more of a secret meeting were we were all quietly listening to the one women in charge- usually appointed by a man. In these meetings we were taught how to be good wives and nurturers. We were taught to remain pure and how to listen to our husbands. We learned how to be good women of Christ- ones who never caused a fuss and were the keepers of the household.
I hated those meetings.
With the CFI adding the Women's Conference to their mix I believe it has given women a place to be able to be more outspoken, to be able to find other powerful women, and to learn that it is A-OK to have a strong, full voice in the secular world, their own secular community, and the world. I'm glad I went and I can't wait for next year!
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