No. Women do NOT need a Me-ternity

I truly am the WORST feminist.

It was reported in The New York Post that an author by the name of Meghann Foye has written a book that states that non-moms deserve paid maternity leave, too.

http://nypost.com/2016/04/28/i-want-all-the-perks-of-maternity-leave-without-having-any-kids/

Meghann writes, "...I came to believe in the value of a 'me-ternity' leave-which is, to me, a sabbatical-like break that allows women.....to shift their focus to the part of their lives that doesn't revolve around their jobs. For women who follow a 'traditional' path, this pause [maternity] often naturally comes in your late 20s or early 30s, when a wedding, pregnancy and babies means that your personal life takes center stage. But for those who end up on the 'other' path, that social mandated time and space for self-reflection may never come."

Are you shitting me right now, Meghann? Are you really saying that maternity leave is a time for women to 'self-reflect'? No. It is a time for a human to push another human out of themselves and try not to let it die. There is no sitting on a beach with a book and a fucking cocktail.

The article continues, "While she [Meghann] thinks both men and women could benefit from a 'me-ternity', she says that women would benefit more because "they are bad at putting ourselves first" and suffer from burnout at a higher rate than men."

Speak for yourself, bitch.

I had no problem with choosing not to have children because I knew I wouldn't provide well for them. I also knew that I didn't want to put a child first in my life. I have no problem whatsoever in putting myself first in my life.

And I'm fucking good at it.

"Foye, 38, started thinking about this idea when she was a magazine editor and became 'envious' of parents on staff who "left the office at 6 p.m. to tend to their children, while it was assumed co-workers without kids would stay behind to pick up the slack", she said. After the 2008 recession and the lack of job security, she started feeling like she has to be "tethered" to her work.'

Fucking, duh, Meghann. It's expected of men all the time. Get over yourself.

"It seemed that parenthood was the only path that provided a modicum of flexibility, she said. "There's something about saying 'I need to go pick up my child' as a reason to leave the office on time that has far more gravitas that, say, 'My best friend just got ghosted by her OKCupid date and needs a margarita'- but both sides are valid."

 No they're not, Meghann! Which, by the way, is a stupid way to spell Megan.

A kid needing to be picked up because they are sick is NOT the same as your idiot friend needing a drink. You can very well go get a drink after work. Or on your day off.

You ARE allowed to have days off. You ARE allowed to take a sabbatical from work. You ARE allowed to go on vacation.  Just like EVERYONE ELSE in a full-time job, we get 2 weeks off for a 'me-turity'. It's called PTO.

You ARE NOT ALLOWED to trivialize what other women go through with childbirth and raising children.

You ARE NOT ALLOWED to compare your girls night to time that parents NEED to devote to RAISING ANOTHER LIFE!!

Men are asked their entire life to work hard to provide for their families. They have always been expected to 'tether' themselves to their desks to earn as much as they can to support their wives, kids, elderly parents, etc.

The feminist movement is about equality. This trivial nonsense about 'women needing more time because we can't put ourselves first' needs to stop. NEEDS TO STOP!

We are capable of so much. We talk about how strong women are. We need to start acting like it. We need to pick up the slack for the parents.

My job is run by women. My boss is a woman. My managers are women. I'm proud to be a part of a women run business. What do you think my female boss would say if I brought it to her that I require time off to 'self-reflect'?

She would, rightly, laugh in my face.

Of all the selfish, ridiculous, egotistical, non-issue, nonsense I have EVER heard in the feminist movement this has got to be the worst thing I have ever come across....

It's bad enough that, as a non-child-bearing women, I get crap for not having kids but, now you want me to look even worse by claiming women deserve extra vacation because....what? We USED to not work? Fuck off, Meghann. You self-righteous, frivolous, waste of time, silly little girl.

Let the real women handle this.

It's None of My Business Where You do Yours

North Carolina passing a bill that specifies where people can use the restroom based on the gender on their birth certificate is just insane and pointless. I do not give a damn where someone does their pees and poops. And I can't understand why it's such a big deal now.

I understand people's argument that they want to keep their kids safe. I totally agree that we should try to keep kids safe at all costs. But, come on, they are not going to be protected by a law that absolutely no one can enforce any more than a 'Men' or 'Women' sign is going to keep out predators.

Just wait until we hear a story about some poor woman in a bad mood and even worse hair day getting called out for maybe being a dude in a skirt. Hope she sues the pants off someone. (pun intended)

Here's the deal. If you live in or have visited a major city in the US, it is very likely that you already have shared a bathroom with a transgendered person. It's done. Get over it.

These people just want to get in there, do their business, and get out. Preferably without having to go through the embarrassment of having you look twice at them and be disgusted. Everyone poops. There is a book about it. Read it. Even those who some lawmakers deem 'unsavory' or 'deranged' have to poop. Preferably in a room where they feel most suited.

My main issue with this ridiculous law is that the people who support it think of transgendered people as 'delusional or perverted men in dresses'. Granted, there are some who are just beginning to transition, some who are not very far into the process who...look a little 'off'. Fine. But they really need to look at the people who have fully made the change as well. Men who have full beards, large muscles, and lots of tattoos....and the female box checked on their birth certificate. Women who are more beautiful than I can ever hope to be, slender frames, amazing breasts, soft voices.....and they used to have a penis.

I'm almost positive I can tell the difference between a pervert in a dress who just wants to peek in on the girls and a woman who needs to pee. And, if I can't tell the difference, there has yet to be a case in the US where a guy has dressed as a women just so he can spy on the women in the bathroom.

You know who does spy on women in the bathroom? Regular guys. They set up cameras, they crawl through the ceilings, they make holes in the walls, etc.

And, the bathroom with the most perverts is the men's room. And, no, not because women are dying to figure out what you guys do in there. (We know. Dear god we know.) Child molesters are statistically white males. They are now, and always have been, allowed in the men's room where your son is innocently using his penis as a fire hose.

Your sons are the ones sharing a bathroom with a Catholic priest who may or may not have been moved to your parish due to 'misconduct'.

Your son that is now in the stall next to some congressman who is trying desperately to tap out sex code with his foot.

Your son who is having a man's cell phone camera pointed at them from their belt loop.

Do not begin to tell me that this law is about protecting your daughters from men in dresses when you won't begin to protect your sons from men in jeans.

Do not begin to tell me that a law you can't enforce is going to be the thing that stops your daughters from being preyed upon. Criminals don't give a shit about your laws on paper. That's why they are criminals.

When will these bigoted people just come out and say they are just weirded out by transgendered people? Stop hiding behind superficial laws, tired old religious nonsense, and general fear. Just tell us that you're intolerant and refuse to understand. I'll have more respect for someone who is just honest.

Until then, get over yourself and stop worrying so much about where people go pee. Perv.

I Blew It

Last week I went to Louisiana to see family. My father is notorious for throwing large parties whenever his 'girls' come home. I have two sisters and we all live in different states. It's rare for him to have all of us together at once. This trip had all of us including my sisters kids.

I love my nephews to the moon and back. I can't help but want to spoil them and make sure they are safe and loved. I even bought a toy car for one of my nephews last night because I knew it was one character he didn't have. (He loves a certain animated movie about cars) It may cost more to send it to him than that actual thing is worth but I don't care. I know he will like it and I'm happy to do it for him.

However, I don't want my own kids. I've written and spoken about this topic many times before. I've vehemently expressed my desire to remain childless for years. My entire family knows that I would rather die by a million papercuts than have a child. I even wrote a blog post about what I would say the next time I was asked when I was going to have kids.

"I'm not going to answer that and I'll forgive you for asking."

But, y'all, I blew it.

At my father's crawfish boil last weekend I was approached by my father's best friend. I've known this man my entire life. He is like an uncle to me. He was the one who gave me my childhood nickname of  'Milk Baby'. (On account of I'm so pale)

He asked me when I was going to have kids........My eye twitched. I gritted my teeth for the argument. I knew my lines.....and.....

And I just couldn't do it. I could not bring myself to tell him how rude he was being. The man that I can easily chastise for drinking too much, being too loud, or accuse (lovingly) of being a general nuisance.........  I couldn't stand up to him for asking such a rude and hot button question.

This is why I should call myself the Bad Feminist instead of Southern Atheist. I'm terrible when it comes to actually practicing what I preach.

It was later mentioned to me that what I was actually doing was keeping the peace at the party. And, I guess that's true. I love this man. I know he loves me. I just couldn't jump down his throat for what he thought was an honest question.

And, maybe that makes me a bad feminist. But, when it comes down to making a point for women's rights or keeping the relationship with someone I adore intact, I'm going to go with keeping that relationship.

I'll save my venom for someone who deserves it.