I Blew It

Last week I went to Louisiana to see family. My father is notorious for throwing large parties whenever his 'girls' come home. I have two sisters and we all live in different states. It's rare for him to have all of us together at once. This trip had all of us including my sisters kids.

I love my nephews to the moon and back. I can't help but want to spoil them and make sure they are safe and loved. I even bought a toy car for one of my nephews last night because I knew it was one character he didn't have. (He loves a certain animated movie about cars) It may cost more to send it to him than that actual thing is worth but I don't care. I know he will like it and I'm happy to do it for him.

However, I don't want my own kids. I've written and spoken about this topic many times before. I've vehemently expressed my desire to remain childless for years. My entire family knows that I would rather die by a million papercuts than have a child. I even wrote a blog post about what I would say the next time I was asked when I was going to have kids.

"I'm not going to answer that and I'll forgive you for asking."

But, y'all, I blew it.

At my father's crawfish boil last weekend I was approached by my father's best friend. I've known this man my entire life. He is like an uncle to me. He was the one who gave me my childhood nickname of  'Milk Baby'. (On account of I'm so pale)

He asked me when I was going to have kids........My eye twitched. I gritted my teeth for the argument. I knew my lines.....and.....

And I just couldn't do it. I could not bring myself to tell him how rude he was being. The man that I can easily chastise for drinking too much, being too loud, or accuse (lovingly) of being a general nuisance.........  I couldn't stand up to him for asking such a rude and hot button question.

This is why I should call myself the Bad Feminist instead of Southern Atheist. I'm terrible when it comes to actually practicing what I preach.

It was later mentioned to me that what I was actually doing was keeping the peace at the party. And, I guess that's true. I love this man. I know he loves me. I just couldn't jump down his throat for what he thought was an honest question.

And, maybe that makes me a bad feminist. But, when it comes down to making a point for women's rights or keeping the relationship with someone I adore intact, I'm going to go with keeping that relationship.

I'll save my venom for someone who deserves it.