Thursday, November 21, 2013

All we wanted was a women's group...

A member of my group, Denver Atheists, recently asked to host a secular women's group. Awesome, right? Let's do it!

We decided that for the first meeting it should be women only. There are a lot of females in the group who are new, may not be comfortable around the normally male dominated events, have sexism issues they would like to discuss with just women, etc. Deal. Starting out- women only. The direction can change to include the men if/when it was decided on by the collective group. Cool.

The invites went out.

The negative comments poured down like the rains from the biblical flood.

I've never seen something get this out of control so quickly on our little MeetUp site.  And not just men- women, at least one, are pissed off! Some men are taking this as a curious issue. 'Women feel oppressed? Even in the secular community? I had no idea!' Others are taking the more comical approach, 'This will be the most coveted group by male atheists!'

I expect this kind of reaction from the men. In the secular community we like to think of ourselves as above things like sexism, homophobia, racism, etc. But, in all honesty, we struggle with it just like any other group.

Secular groups have a demographic pretty much dominated by older, white males. I have become a leader in every secular group that I have been a part of. I have that type of personality where I want to be a leader and I'm not deterred by the men-folk. I attribute this to growing up in a very male dominated, southern community.

I have southern charm. I know that most men don't intend to dominate or suppress women. I know how to maneuver around it. I have always been able to have a conversation with a man and know how and when to contribute. That sounds bad. I'm not a weak person. I have tact. I know that just because I have something to say doesn't mean that I MUST say it.

And, as for the woman who thinks this is a horrible idea, that the only thing she can think of that women need to not talk about in front of men are our  tampons and 'menses', who feels that it makes women weak to meet in private....

You're a cunt.


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